I was going to ask if there was anyone else out there who makes a *point*
of touching... and then I read Susan Nachman Srebnik's and Ann Perry's
posts.  Whew!

Most of my consults start out with me on the floor and the mom seated.  At
some point in her story, I almost always have an urge to move closer, to
touch her foot, or her leg.  It's an honest urge, and I don't ignore it.
If I'm seated, I'll touch her arm, or her shoulder.

It's different for those of us in private practice.  Most of us are in
street clothes, in a home setting... in a setting in which, by golly, a
woman in tears almost always receives physical comfort from whoever is
nearby - the visiting neighbor if not her partner or mom.  Avoiding contact
would feel unnatural, and would make me feel medical, which I most
decidedly don't want to be.  Not everyone sends out "huggable" vibes, but
some do, and get a parting hug.

As to touching her breast:  if words alone aren't getting us there fast
enough for the baby's patience, I'll help her latch the baby on (yes, with
written and oral permission).  I figure if *either* mother *or* baby
experiences a good latch, the next one will go more smoothly for both.   My
first "laying on of hands" came as a not-very-experienced LLL Leader.  The
mom and baby tried for something like 45 minutes (forgive my lack of
experience).  Finally, remembering a similar incident in "Breastfeeding
Matters," I said, "How about if I get behind you and just *be* your hands.
I guess I can't really describe what I do that you might not be doing.
Maybe I can just do it and you can see how it feels."  I got behind the
couch, put my arms around her, held breast and baby as if they were mine...
and of course the baby went right on.  After that, she understood how to do
it for herself.

Now that I have better language, I don't have to go that far, but there are
still plenty of times when I think a feeling is worth a thousand words (at
least a thousand of *my* words), and we get farther faster if my hands help
out at first.  Mother and baby both learn how it's supposed to feel, and
they're better able to replicate that feeling on their own with the next
latch.  I'll do it, too, when I'm not sure whether the problem is with the
"serve" or with the baby.  If I help optimize the latch, and the baby still
doesn't get it, I know better where we need to focus.

I'm humbled by those of you who always manage to get the job done with your
hands in your pockets.  But I felt better when I watched an outspoken
"hands in pockets" LC at work... and saw those hands on baby, breast, mom's
hand, and mom's head.  I've wondered since if she even knew she did it!
And by the way, that mom went home with a pain-free nursing baby and a big
smile on her face.

Diane Wiessinger, MS, IBCLC, LLLL  Ithaca, NY