I just had to look back and see how long ago I had posted the following to LN--4 years!! We have made no progress since, IMO.
Subject: Re: Ther rest of defining discretion
From: "Jennifer Tow, IBCLC" <[log in to unmask]>
Reply-To: Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date: Mon, 18 Aug 2003 03:59:11 -0400
Content-Type: text/plain
I think there is a huge difference between helping a mother nurse in the way that she is most comfortable and "encoursing" discreet nursing. When we "enourage discretion" (whatever that may mean to each woman), we are making a value judgement about appropriateness of breastfeeding in a given situation and the ways in which it should be done.
Personally, I cringe when I hear a breastfeeding advocate use the word "discreet" at all in reference to breastfeeding. Here is one dictionary definition of the word:
"(from Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary)
discreet adjective
careful not to cause embarrassment or attract too much attention, especially by keeping something secret:
The family made discreet enquiries about his background.
They are very good assistants, very discreet - they wouldn't go shouting to the press about anything they discovered while working for you.
NOTE: Do not confuse with discrete.
discreetly adverb
discretion noun [U]
1 the ability to behave without causing embarrassment or attracting too much attention, especially by keeping information secret:
"Can you trust him with this?" "Yes, he's the soul of discretion (= he will not tell other people).""
Of most interest to me in this definition is the idea that we want to keep something "secret". I do not want to keep breastfeeding secret at all. Personally, I would like to see us toss the word out altogether. After all, we have no such term to describe the way that adults eat or babies eat from bottles (and I doubt I am the only one who finds that visual unappealing). I think the more we try to define how one should breastfeed, the more we contribute to the idea that it is aberrant behaviour. The implication is that only those mothers who breastfeed "discreetly" are behaving apropriately. IMO, when we (as the LC's, LLLL's, etc) routinely introduce the idea of discretion, we are harming breastfeeding as a cultural norm. I think we are only "making the waters safe" for certain moms when we advocate this behaviour, and in affect make the rest of us open to even more ridicule.
Jennifer Tow, IBCLC, CT, USA (never a discreet breastfeeder)
Jennifer Tow, IBCLC, CT, USA
Intuitive Parenting Network LLC
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