Phyllis asks:

<Why is it so many moms "can't get that close" to their babies?>

Maybe because their moms didn't get that close to them???

In retrospect, I can see a certain amount of that in my own mothering
history with my own children, compared to the way I was mothered. Much as I
now realize how very much she loved and sacrificed for me, I have always had
the feeling that my mother was somehow sort of a shadow figure in my life,
and I have had to talk myself into altering my pattern with my own babies.

As adults, I love them all dearly, but each in his/her own way, and the
relationships are all different, in part because of what happened inside of
me, their reactions to me as infants, and to the both of us when I fed them,
some of them bottles, some of them exclusively breastfed for 6 month and
then quite a bit longer after solids began.

Back in the 1930's, when I was put in a carriage that was covered with a
mosquito net and put under the tree to "get fresh air" I was not allowed get
my bottle till the clock said 4 hours were up, no matter how much I cried.
My grandmother was watching my mother to make sure this happened, even
though my grandmother had nursed her own babies.

Wasn't that the theory of someone named Truby King??

Jean
**************
K. Jean Cotterman RNC, IBCLC
Dayton, OH USA

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