I've tried before to make this distinction, and I think Kathy Dettwyler also
speaks to it when she gives her "guilt can be motivating" talk.  People can
chose to change in response to feeling guilt, and many advertizers (and this
includes health promo people) use it as a force to change behavior.  I think
shame is something else.  Shame is debilitating, and if we try to manipulate
with shame, we invite anger and backlash.  Guilt says:  I regret not having
DONE better.  Shame says:  I am a bad person because I couldn't do better.
Most reasonable people can be reminded that with better info or support
their actions might have been more successful, and then be encouraged to try
again.  We always want to support the person, even as we educate about
better choices.

Barbara Wilson-Clay, BSEd, IBCLC
Austin Lactation Associates, Austin, Texas
http://www.jump.net/~bwc/lactnews.html

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