Wendey's story is  so interesting.

Yes, for many of us our personal experience was the spur to getting us into
this 'game' and of course we learn from it.  Person Y's wonderful
experience may have inspired her, Person X's terrible one could be behind
her inspiration, and Person Z's mixture of experiences could have acted as
the spur for her. It doesn't matter.

My point was, and is, that personal experience *should be irrelevant* to
day to day practice....I know that supporters (professional and volunteer)
may occasionally quote their own experience, and may share it if asked by
the mother, and when pers. exp. is used sparingly, and in the right
context, I trust these supporters to adapt their interactions with mothers
accordingly.

I have never had the heartbreaking experience Wendey describes, but I know
it exists, and I don't have to have suffered it to believe it.  If we
listen to mothers and are open - truly open - to what they are telling us,
and never make any assumptions about what they 'really' want to do, or
whether they 'really' want to bottle feed, then we start with the mother's
experience, not our own - and that's when true bf help and suport begins.



Heather Welford Neil
NCT bfc Newcastle upon Tyne UK

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