Dear all:

First, my apologies in that I did not mean that someone that you don't know sending you a lewd photo is acceptable ever.  Furthermore, I thought the words fit more appropriately with breastfeeding than they did for sexting.  

Let me explain a bit more.  

In terms of the analogy for breastfeeding, I meant that some people view breastfeeding in the same light as sexual intimacy.  If you take the concept of an unwanted naked photo away and put breastfeeding in its place I think the words work reasonably well for breastfeeding.  

Now in terms of nudity, it must be viewed in context.  There are nude statues all over New York.  The Time Warner Center down the street has two enormous bronze statues of a voluptuously well rounded male and female.  Tourists often take photos of themselves next to these statues.  The statues are anatomically correct and the male statue happens to be well worn in one spot because tourists think it is hilarious to take a photo touching the male.  No one bats an eyelash at that.  Flirting and kissing in public are allowed in many places.  Completely disrobing in public generally is not considered acceptable in most areas of the planet except certain beaches or colonies where everyone agrees it is OK.  In Europe it is OK to go topless on beaches and in New York City there is a little known law that you are actually allowed to go topless. No one does it except for one day when women go around Central Park without tops.  I forget what the name of that day is, but I think it originated from women who felt that men were allowed to go topless so therefore it would violate their rights if they weren't allowed to do so as well.  At least in Manhattan, children are exposed from a very early age to highly sexualized images on buses and subways and billboards of barely clothed adolescents let alone commercials on television.  

Unwanted sexting from a stranger is clearly a violation of personal privacy.  Sending naked photos to minors is a crime as is collecting naked photos of minors over the Internet.   That clearly has no analogy in breastfeeding.  Yet some people equate breastfeeding with pedophilia which is something I find completely disgusting.  

On the other hand, sexting taken out of context is not inherently bad.   Not all sexting is unwanted.  Some people may enjoy an intimate relationship with each other and part of that relationship may be carried out through internet exchanges. Some married and committed couples sext.  Some promiscuous adults may enjoy many relationships and sexting may be a part of that.  Every now and again cues are missed on both sides where one person may think that a relationship is something different than the other and the other person should always have the perogative to say no I don't like that.  And the other person should stop immediately and it is unacceptable and in certain cases criminal if they don't.  

In terms of sexting, I was thinking more in the context of two consenting adults who had been communicating in a mutually flirtatious manner whereby one person mistook the degree of flirtation and escalated it beyond the others level of discomfort. 
I do believe that people miss cues when it comes to relationships and overestimate the interest of the other party.  If the person that misses the cues and backs off and apologies for not understanding, I see that person as clueless in relationships and they may need some help to develop more appropriate skills in reading other peoples cues.  

Here I don't find the analogy to be appropriate in terms of someone simply breastfeeding in public.  One analogy that I can come up with doesn't have to do with breastfeeding at all. For instance, if you were in a restaurant sitting at one table breastfeeding and then went over and sat down at a table with a perfect stranger and breastfed -- that seems to me to be rude -- not because you are breastfeeding, it is just rude period because you are invading someone else's space.  The internet allows for a great deal of this type of behavior. Spam folders are an imperfect solution.

About the closest I can get to an analogy simply isn't plausible.  The analogy I can come up with would be if someone came over to your table and demanding that you breastfeed your baby or that they breastfeed your baby.  Then if you told them, really I'm not comfortable with this and they kept insisting on breastfeeding your baby or vice versa, that would be like someone who continues to send you photos you deem inappropriate.  Then the next step would be escalation to really criminal behavior -- which is forcing you -- or if that person then grabbed your baby away from you and fed your baby despite all your objections.

I hope that clarifies my position.  I wasn't defending strangers who spam you with photos that most people would feel are inappropriate.

Best regards 

Susan E. Burger, MHS, PhD, IBCL

             ***********************************************

Archives: http://community.lsoft.com/archives/LACTNET.html
To reach list owners: [log in to unmask]
Mail all list management commands to: [log in to unmask]
COMMANDS:
1. To temporarily stop your subscription write in the body of an email: set lactnet nomail
2. To start it again: set lactnet mail
3. To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
4. To get a comprehensive list of rules and directions: get lactnet welcome