Does your hosp. policy "allow" (hate that word!) moms to sleep with their
babies in bed with them? When I worked in the hosp. it definitely didn't,
but I (and most of the other BF-friendly nurses) had absolutely no qualms
about padding up the side rails so the baby couldn't fall out on the floor
and assuring the mom that she & the baby would both sleep better if they
were tucked up together. Also de-stressing the night-time fdgs as much as
possible - assure mom that it isn't a do-or-die situation every minute of
the day & night, that you'll help her if she needs it and that she doesn't
need to make every single feeding attempt in those first couple of nights
the hill she dies on.
Are your nurses familiar with James McKenna's work? His videos of how much
better moms rest, and how much more efficiently they actually feed & tend to
their babies when the babies are right at hand, are so impressive.
Of course the moms start crying in the middle of the night! They're tired,
and they're not in their familiar beds, and everybody's telling them what to
do, and the baby is so very new that it doesn't have a clue. The answer to
this isn't to whisk the babies away so the poor new mom can "get some
sleep". The moms are much better served by a sympathetic but low-key
acceptance of the overwhelming nature of the situation, a little "mothering
of the mother", and some gentle guidance when it's needed.
Maybe the nurses are stressing too much on the medicalized things they have
to see to when a mom & baby are in a hosp. setting - has the baby peed
enough? Has it passed its mec? Does it know how to suck, transfer milk,
swallow, and breathe all at the same time? With such brief stays, these
things do need to be dealt with in those first couple of days, but it's
important to not transfer all that medical business to the interactions with
mom & nursling - all it serves to do is escalate mom's anxiety and stress.
And if the middle of the night is when she's exhausted and weepy and saying
"oh, just take him away and feed him something", we need to remember that it
doesn't all need to be sorted out NOW, THIS very minute, THIS particular
"feeding opportunity" and not in a couple of hours after she's had a little
time to snuggle & rest. It all works best when mothers are shown the kind of
care and gentleness you hope they will learn to have for their babies; if
the baby is in a tizzy, show mom how to settle him in the simplest possible
ways - not as if it's a high-skill medical procedure, but just with the
simplest loving touch. If he won't take the breast right now, show her how
to let him suck on her finger, or how to wrap him or unwrap him so he's
happier, or how to just settle him lying on her chest.
When she's there that first night and the baby & she haven't quite learned
how to nurse yet, and the baby is squawking and hasn't got a clue what to do
with a breast, what she's thinking, and what gets her so upset and weepy, is
"Oh my God, I don't know what to do, the baby doesn't like me, now I'm stuck
for the next twenty years and every minute of it will be just like this, and
my bum hurts and I'm a total failure, what was I thinking...?!" She needs
comforting probably more than the little one does - but she probably
*doesn't* need to have her baby wheeled away so she can take a sleeping
pill.
Cathy Bargar RN, IBCLC Ithaca NY
-----Original Message-----
From: [log in to unmask] [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
Sent: Monday, May 17, 1999 12:54 AM
Subject: Nightime Nursing Babies
Any ideas how our hospital can get mothers to keep their babies all night
with them to nurse them on demand? Our mothers have the best of intentions
in the morning but then "hit the wall" at 1:00A.M. and start crying and
asking the nurse to take the baby and give formula. Night nurses have asked
for ideas. Got any? TIA. Loni Denman, RN, IBCLC
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