Suellen, your post made me cry. What a sad situation!

I would ask the baby's neos exactly why they aren't comfortable with donor milk, especially as they were initially open to it and as the donor is a family member. I'd pull out all the ammunition regarding superiority of donor milk over formula, and then I'd even try to pull at their heartstrings. This is a dying mother's wish for her child, for god's sake! (I'm getting teary again just thinking about it.) Has the mom herself talked to the neos about this? They may find it harder to turn her down than the nurses.

As for when the baby is discharged, she'll be followed up by a pediatrician, and those neos will be out of the picture. I'd get the dad talking to a sympathetic pediatrician as soon as possible! Also, I wonder whether the cousin would consider not just donating milk but directly nursing the baby??

Jennifer Herrin, RN, IBCLC
Heidelberg, Germany

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