My guess is that the mother is reacting to her baby being a different gender
than expected. I remember seeing a mother years ago who was told after an
ultrasound that her baby was a boy, only to discover at birth that it was,
in fact, a girl. She told me it felt like she'd been given the "wrong" baby.
People couldn't understand why she felt sad and rather detached from the
baby - but in her mind, she'd "lost" the son she had been expecting. She
certainly overcame this and fell in love with her darling baby girl - but it
was initially very emotionally upsetting.

That may be why the mother you describe is focused on seemingly trivial
things - like picking a new name - and ignoring the baby. She can't yet see
it as "her" baby because it's the wrong gender.

If you go back to see her, you might try first to engage her in some
conversation about how she's feeling about that. Let her talk about it. Then
you might be able to help her focus on the baby she actually got - maybe
show her how the baby responds to her voice and touch. "This baby sure knows
who his mother is." Things like that.

Teresa

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