I like all the discussion points you have pointed out and have used them
myself. Here's one more for the mom who is thinking "breast feeding" (or
breast as bottle attached to body) instead of "breastfeeding". I remind mom
that baby has a big job to do: double his birth weight in 4-6 months. He
has to do it with the best food on earth made for him alone, and it's very
easily digested, AND he has a stomach the size of a walnut. Yes, it will
stretch a bit to handle those initial gushing downloads. Take that a little
further. Suppose, mom, that YOU had to double your current weight in 4-6
months on the best possible, but completely liquid diet? How often would
you be eating? You can almost see her eyes get larger as she contemplates,
2 x 150 lbs = 300 in 4 months with no meat or potatoes or... She finally
agrees, she'd be eating hourly. And that may not be enough. Yes, baby is
designed to do this and an adult is not. But the illustration is clear.
Following on the 'building a relationship' discussion: I point out how
baby's cry is irritating. It was meant to be. It's the only way, finally,
he can get someone's attention to help him. The prompt, caring attention of
the most important people in his life is how he learns Trust. After he
learns to Trust, then he can learn to Love. If mom didn't trust dad, she
couldn't love him, right? And what happens to Love if Trust is broken, or
is never formed in the first place?
Yes, I think it's based in a fear of or complete discomfort with the
intensity of the nursing relationship. Maybe she also has some difficult in
distinguishing the difference between the physical feelings of "sensual"
and "sexual". This may call for some professional counseling.
--- Phyllis Adamson, IBCLC, RLC
--- Glendale, AZ, USA
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