A recent tragedy has pointed out the sadness of our culture. I apologize in advance but have to rant.

The US is so entrenched against co-sleeping/ bed sharing.  Just as strong prejudiced against it as it once was against breastfeeding and now... slings.
 Add to this the goal of reducing SIDS. The whole "Back to Sleep" campaign, the CDC changes since 2004 on what classify' s SIDS or SUIDS.
 Enter a mom who is breastfeeding her second child.
 < 2 year old brother ( along with mother and father ) have SEVERE reflux- diagnosed since 1 week of age and on medications since that point.  Older child has been on thickened liquids  for last 6 months because they finally did a swallow study and found he aspirated with ever swallow of liquid. Amazingly he was very healthy and was breastfed till 14 months despite reflux. Only because of pneumonia at 15 months of age was swallow study done.
New baby.
They have a co sleeper system attached to the bed but as often seen, in the middle of the night the baby ends up next to her and isn't returned to the co sleeper.
But Mom has followed every "rule". The family bed mattress is firm, no pillows, no heavy blankets. Baby sleeps next to mom and Dad even was sleeping with his head at the foot of the bed  next to mom to reduce risks.
Prenatally- mom had severe hyperemesis, PICC line fluids, antiemetics, etc for the first 5 months of pregnancy. At delivery, she was noted to have significant polyhydaminosis.

Baby was a 3 week old 37 weeker who had begun to develop cold symptoms the day before ( rest of the family was sick with a cold the week before. Baby had also started showing reflux problems and parents had an appointment because babe had been caught twice  quietly choking .


 Tragedy.
 Mother awakens 2 hours after last feed and baby is gone. Grandmother begins CPR and clearing airway removes tons of thick mucous, bloody aspirate from nose and mouth. Very thick  stuff removed from nares. NO signs of skin creases or pressure marks and baby  warm to touch  and limp when CPR started.
CPR unsuccessful  despite grandmothers and paramedics attempts. 
Police arrive , Detectives and Medical Examiner.
Parents are taken to different rooms and interviewed. Mother  is made to preform reenactment with doll. Bedsheets have lividity drainage, all are removed and bagged. 
First responder ( grandmother) never interviewed by any investigators and was kept away from parents. Investigators never asked prenatal history,  full baby health history, etc.
Detective  says to Grandmother in passing " And THAT"S why people are taught NOT to sleep with their baby."

 Parents are not allowed to touch or kiss their baby goodbye based on detective decision.
ME office does  autopsy. Preliminary results are being called " Accidental Suffocation". Per ME office- while they do not check for any fibers, etc. nor do any  extensive autopsy to find other causes besides gross anomolies, toxology or abuse screens. 
"Babies bedsharing are no longer classified as SIDS or SUIDS because "bedsharing is not recommended and unless gross presentation of another cause, these babies are now re-coded as accidental suffocation". 
Yet ME autopsy  doesn't "look"  as closely as hospital clinical autopsy and were unwilling to take any information not obtained by the on site Detective.

 Years ago parents were destroyed by medical  inability to explain an infants death- so the term SIDS came up.  Then  SUIDS became popular and now IMHO the US wants to look good and show rate reductions, we now have a re-coding coverup using things like "accidental suffocation" .... all so the numbers look good. 

When grieving parents now look for grief support- where will they look? Will the SIDS/SUIDS sites now rename themselves to include these new coding diagnosis's? Where do we now send these parents for help?

I am very happy that the US "looks" so great on paper for their reduction in SIDS/ SUIDS- gaining monies for their back to sleep and other campaigns. But the real price tag will always remain with the parents and families of these PC recoded infants .
Heartbreaking.

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