Hi All,
For me, the bottom line is that if a parent feels comfortable with their
choice of how to feed or care for a baby (smoking or immunizations, etc.)
then that is fine for them. It is our job to give the information - not our
job to make the decision - I think we all agree on that one. I also believe
that we MUST take our own personal opinions out of the information. Re:
health issues such as ABM, smoking, immunization, parenting style, BF,
etc. - As an LC I give moms the facts that I know, give them my own personal
opinion (when appropriate letting them know that this is what I chose to do
and what they choose is thier own decision) and tell them to RESEARCH the
information on the subject and make their own educated choices and take
responsibility for that. Those who blindly do what the Dr or anyone tells
them to are making uninformed and uneducated decisions. Parents often do
what they are told while feeling uneasy about it because they have not been
taught to trust their instincts. I don't believe that we must actively
"discourage" a mom from using ABM in conjunction with breastfeeding - I
believe that we have an obligation to give her the facts and let her choose
for herself. Make her aware of the risks associated with the option and let
her take responsibilty for that. We should, I believe, also make her aware
that we will support her in any decision she makes and help her continue
with BF as long as possible so that she understands that we are still 'on
her side', so to speak. I have just run in to too many situations where,
for whatever reason, mom chose to do both BF and ABM - that was her choice
and sometimes her only option - she felt guilty for it for her own reasons,
but my job as an LC was to help her be comfortable in her decision and to
feel good about the fact that she was still BF and to help her continue with
that for as long as possible. I don't believe that this is in any way a
means to reduce her guilt load - but in fact a way to help her take
responsibilty for a choice that she needed to make for her own reasons and
to learn to be comfortable that she is doing what is best for her and her
baby. While I have found myself many times not agreeing with a parents
choice - I have to remember it isn't MY choice.
Unless the parents' choice is something that can seriously harm or kill
their child (like only feed 4 times a day), then it isn't our job to
convince them to do it the way we would. There are many familes that choose
to circ, BF and abm feed and immunize - there are many families who choose
to not circ, not immunize and only BF - there are many families who choose
other combinations of parenting - not every family is the same and what
works for one, won't always work for the other. We have to be able to meet
the parents where they are - not where we are - and not neccessarily where
society in general is...
Parents need to feel comfortable not only with their decisions but also that
their LC (or HCP) is someone who will give them the tools to make these
educated choices and then accept them where they are without judgement -
whether we agree with their decision or not. After all, it isn't our
baby... These are just my thoughts...I am all for educated and very well
informed consent to all parenting choices - including but not limited to BF,
ABM feeding, immunization, AP, circumcision, smoking, etc...sometimes the
health issue that comes up is very different from what we might expect
regarding these very issues.
Warmly,
Jaye
ever the liberal...
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