Lucy said  "Some people compare the lives of women in our society who deal
with the kinds of things I see to those of women in third world countries.
It isn't the same stresses but there are many.  Who are we to judge whether
it is a "legitimate" enough reason to complain and feel overwhelmed?"

I hope that we aren't going to get into judging women's stresses here! When
I worked at WIC, I saw women like the ones Lucy described so eloquently in
the beginning of her excellent post. All day, every day, not just once in a
while. I've been to their homes (sometimes in an abandoned bread truck,
often in rural unheated shacks or falling-apart ancient trailers). I have to
say that the grace and dignity and courage I witnessed in these women,
raising families and doing the best they can in circumstances that would
appall most of us more "fortunate" Americans, has impressed me more than I
can ever say.

Now I'm in private practice; the women I see are mostly highly educated,
well-off financially, living in houses far more elegant than I would ever
aspire to myself. They "have" stuff for their baby that I never even knew
existed, they've read as many books and researched more theories about
breastfeeding than I have, and at the end of the day they face the same
reality as their sisters in the busted trailers: their breastfeeding efforts
with their babies are not working the way they would like them to, their
mother-selves are being battered by their difficulties, they are at their
wits' end, and in the end, there they are crying. AND loving their babies
and desperate to give them the best they can.

NO woman, no matter how "whiny" she may appear, or how resistant to our
suggestions, or how rich or how poor, deserves anything less for herself and
her baby than absolute acceptance of the pain she is in!

OK, end of sermon...I just don't want to play "who's scar is bigger" here!

Cathy Bargar, RN, IBCLC Ithaca NY