"reality of having an infant in a nicu is fear for the child's life/fear
that if you do not comply
with the staff harm will come to your baby/fear of loosing your
baby/neeeding these experts to "keep your baby alive"

Well, you're right, of course, Patricia! I didn't mean to sound so harsh
towards the parents - I DO know what it is like to 'sit in their chair'. My
intention was to strengthen OURSELVES, to keep it always in the forefront of
our minds that these are not "our" babies, and to remember to help empower
parents rather than just rushing in to "save" everybody. I would never
address a parent of an infant in a nicu this way. And largely I was just
plain mad - and, given the story that I was responding to, I stand by my
being angry about it.

But yes, Patricia reminds us of something equally important: working with
the parents in THEIR reality.

Cathy Bargar RN IBCLC Ithaca NY

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