Carrie
Very sad situations you describe. The baby w/ trisomy 13 may also have a
cleft lip/palate according to my peds textbook. This may complicate matters.
The other baby w/ the undeveloped brain may have had anencephaly;
hydrocephaly itself is not incompatible w/ life (some people call this
"water on the brain").
I believe the best way to counsel the mom is to acknowledge the profound
grief she will deal with and the stress of coping and give her the options.
If the baby will be fed she could provide the breastmilk. The baby may be
able to nurse or may be fed by tube feeding. Some babies go home and die at
home. Some stay in hospital. Again often this is decided by the parents. The
mother needs help w/ dealing with her milk coming in and can be told about
milk banks to donate to if she desires. She may choose to suppress the
lactation and she should be given advice about how to accomplish this. You
can say "some mothers have done this" and some mothers have done this and
such. Follow up is important, referral to support groups like the Resolve
thru Sharing groups too.

Laurie Wheeler, RN, MN, IBCLC
Violet Louisiana, s.e. USA

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