I've had more new mothers "crack" under the sleep deprivation in the first
few weeks than any other cause, I think. It's so easy to look back once your
own kids are past that stage, and laugh (albeit sympathetically) and
blithely remind them that it won't last forever. Well, it won't, as we know,
but it's a complaint I take seriously. For one thing, it jeopardizes
breastfeeding.

What I remember from those fog-bound days is that it's not the waking to
nurse that gets you, it's not being able to go back to sleep afterwards. In
your mind is some little post-it note saying "why bother, you only have to
wake up & do it all again in 2 hours?". I do everything I can to help new
mothers think about interventions they can do that will make it easier for
them: maybe take a homeopathic sleep aid before so-called bed-time. Soothing
tea, maybe some aromatherapy, a warm bath? Not changing the kid's diaper
every time he nurses in the night (unless he has very sensitive skin). Not
making it a whole song & dance with the 3-part chorus...just keep everything
as simple and uninteresting as possible.

They need to know that they aren't being *bad mothers* to complain about the
sleep thing, and they almost always need to cry and say "I never knew it
would be like this!", but in my experience a little loving, empathetic
acceptance goes a long way.

I've also found that many women, especially those from cultures where new
babies & moms are kind of isolated from everyone else, truly don't know that
this is normal for babies. They need to hear that it is normal, and *good*
for the baby, in fact. That, throughout most of the world & most of history,
a baby who slept for 11 hours would be considered to be very ill - something
must be wrong!

Babies just weren't made to sleep 10-11 hrs. a night in the first few
months! I don't think a sleep video will help. Personally, I used Benadryl,
when my twins were little; I know there are those who will drop their jaws
in shock, but it let me drop back off to sleep for those 45 minutes or
whatever it was.

Cathy Bargar, RN, IBCLC Ithaca NY (whose then 4-yo son demonstrated his
sibling antagonism when the twins were born by playing a little record he
had of "It's a Small World After All" in his room loudly at 4 AM every
morning...ah, the good old days...still hate that tune!)