I applaud Elena's insight in response to Marie's post 100 steps back,
stressing the importance of  the question +ACI-Who made the decision for you to
breastfeed?+ACI-  You continued:  +ACI-If the answer is anything other than +ACI-ME+ACI-,
it's not going to work.+ACI-  How valid+ACE-

In a recent Early Pregnancy Class session I taught, as the topic of
breastfeeding came up, one woman announced:
+ACI-That's been decided already.  We're not even going there because of what it
does to your breasts.  I don't want to get saggy and droopy.+ACI-  Lots of
giggling then ensued between the couple, joined by several other class
members.

I spoke about how changes in the appearance of the breast are more related
to a function of aging than to whether the mom breastfed or not.   Mentioned
decreased incidence of breast cancer in moms who've breastfed.....to help
focus on a positive side to what breastfeeding can do to breasts.  We did
some brainstorming about advantages of breastfeeding.  In all, it went
ok.....but I am left feeling a confused mixture of sadness for their baby
and anger at their apparent priorities.

I realize that this woman is probably just looking for a reason NOT to
breastfeed, and that if she tried to breastfeed it would very likely not be
a successful experience.  Why, then, am I left with this feeling of sadness
and anger?  Is it that I'm concerned over who is making the decision NOT to
breastfeed?  That she and her partner have agreed not to breastfeed due to
an inaccurate belief system?  That she is deciding not to breastfeed with
HER breasts because she doesn't feel they are her breasts, but rather HIS?
(caps for emphasis)  That I was initially a bit shocked that she would feel
the need to announce this to a group of strangers?  That I now feel angered
that she tried to enlist other class member's support to her theory?  That
she would value physical appearance over her baby's health, ranking that
higher than the pluses of breastfeeding?  Or am I simply angry that those
who know the least sometimes act as if they know the most?

I'm proud to be in the company of all of you who recognize the tremendous
physical, emotional, psychosocial, economic, and spiritual benefits of
breastfeeding.  Any thoughts to how I might have responded differently, or
what's really going on here?

Feeling grateful that I've been very clear about my own priorities and had
wonderful breastfeeding experiences with my own kids,
Joyce Blangiardo RN, LCCE, FACCE, IBCLC in NY where I've learned that the
more I know, the more I discover how much I don't know.....