Gail,
I was an NICU nurse in a "former life (the 1980's)." I'd approach the
parents something like this, "I'm sorry your baby is sick. I want you to
know that breastfeeding is still possible, and we'll help you every step
of the way." Many parents just assume that bf is out in a situation like
this.
Then I give info about expressing etc. I let them know they can start as
soon as they'd like, but they may take time to think about it because
often they are experiencing shock and disbelief, denial, etc.
I have never had anyone say they were angry or upset by being encouraged
to bf. On the contrary, most will be grateful for having the
opportunity, even if the child dies. If that does happen I contact them
to express my sympathy and help with drying up or donating to a milk
bank.
In our unit, before anyone was IBCLC (the director became certified!),
some interested nurses learned all we could about bf and called
ourselves bf counselors. Many of us at the time were childless, so we
didn't have any personal experience, but we would each have a caseload
of moms and babies and follow them by phone and in person. We read all
we could, had regular meetings, cont. educ. etc. I think we did a good
job of supporting the moms.

Laurie Wheeler, RN, MN, IBCLC
Louisiana Breastfeeding MediaWatch Campaign
Violet Louisiana, USA
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