One of the biggest, continuing, frustrations I have had over the years (too
many to recount!) is the comments by persons who have never been to a
League meeting who call it "fanatical", "breastfeed til [fill in the blank
time designed to shock], "have 10 or more children and won't allow you to
remain a member if you stop at one", "will not accept divorced women," blah
blah blah--I have heard them all.

One way I have used to counteract this wtihout saying a word is this:
whenever I am asked to speak (be it a high school class, church group,
hospital or other professional gathering), I do not mention my background
including LLL UNTIL someone asks a question about LLL.  Then I try to get
into the conversation that "without LLL, I would have had a much more
difficult time learning about how breastfeeding is *supposed* to work."
After hearing an hour or more of (mostly) reasonable suggestions, etc., at
least one person is often surprised to learn that I too am *one of those
LLL* people!  No need to point fingers, to suggest that the asusmptions
mentioned are totally bogus, etc.

For those of you who are invited to speak and have a background with LLL,
this technique might also work for you.

Remember: you can't defend LLL without appearing (to others) to attack
their views.  If you do not attack, but simply mention your own value of
LLL experiences, this will speak far more eloquently than anything else you
can do.  I will never forget a comment made to a colleague from a physician
who had two children before I met  her (both rather negative breastfeeding
experiences; both very short-lived).  This OB was in a position to do more
than enthusiastically encourage breastfeeding (which she did).  I decided
when she became pregnant and we did some lectures together that kept us
prisoners in the same car for several hours at a time on more than one
occasion to use this time to "teach" her about attachment parenting without
ever using that word or mentioning LLL, which she steadfastly refused to
attend.

Her last baby was terribly allergic; she ended up exclusively breastfeeding
her 10 mon and then gradually introducing solids.  She took an extended
leave to be with her baby after birth (not something she did with the two
older children) and 2 years later *reluctantly* accepted her baby's weaning
(which the baby initiated!)

Through our mutual colleague two years later, I learned that this MD told
others that she "learned about breastfeeding and babies" from me.  I like
to think that the most important of those words was "and babies."  And that
she was more accepting of her older children's behaviors as well, which I
saw for myself before we each moved to other settings and role
responsibilities.

She may never have attended a League meeting, but she learned (privately)
by my offhand comments what mothers hear so often at League meetings.  It
can be done... try it sometime....

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"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly
disguised as impossible situations."
Kathleen G. Auerbach,PhD, IBCLC (Ferndale, WA USA) [log in to unmask]
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