Well Kathy, here is a thought...
This lady may have looked intelligent, but she was obviously ignorant about
her baby's situation as well as ignorant about formulas.  Also sounds like
she is missing a bit in the common sense area...
Quite frankly, I think that what you suggested to her was not that bad of an
idea.  I wonder if more people tasted that stuff before giving it to their
(poor, helpless) babies, they might change their minds.  (some of us have
test pumps, what about little tester cans of different ABMS for taste
tests??)  You told her very honestly, and correctly, that her baby was
obviously not able to tolerate cows milk ABM, so what else can you do?  Not
a lot.  Hopefully, by the time that 4 mo comes around, she will not want to
stop BF her baby and will pump while at work.
You know, I had a gal ask me what formula I would recommend to her to her
baby once (she wanted to do 1/2 BF and 1/2 ABM so that other family members
could feed the baby and feel useful. :P ).  I told her that I couldn't
recommend one because there were so many chemicals in them that I didn't
know which was safest.  I then told her that the only thing we could count
on to be safe was breastmilk because it was made for our babies.  If her
family wanted to be useful, well I gave her several ideas for that.

Good luck!
Jay
Jay Simpson, CLE
Sacramento, CA
"No Miracles performed here, just a lot of love and hard work."
ICQ#4681696