Here is something that is circulating around the local grade school and
medical offices, as head lice season is again upon us!  

Teacher’s guide to head lice ( or Head Lights as the children call them)

  YOU MAY SUSPECT AN INFESTATION OF LICE WHEN:

  A child's hat comes to school by itself
 A child's hair is waving in the breeze, only there is no breeze.
 After running your fingers through a child's hair, you find that your
finger nails have been bitten off.
 You hear tiny voices singing “For She's a Jolly Good Fellow" coming from
earphones you have just wiped off with alcohol.
 You notice that Johnny's hair, which was parted on the left, is now
parting   itself' on the right and/or middle.
 A child gets his comb out of his pocket by opening his pocket and calling 
 "Here Boy".
 You notice that Susie’s animal barettes have arranged themselves into a
circus parade.
 You pat a child on the head and a tiny voice yells, "Keep your hands to 
yourself."
 You notice insectivorous birds perched frequently on a child's head.
 A child’s hair stands an end and when he or she passes under a "No Pest
Strip".
 An angry buzzing sound is heard when a child's hair is disturbed.
 Frogs and toads are frequently seen with their tongues entangled in the
child's  hair.
 A child shows more than 5-6 lbs. weight variation after being sprayed with
 insect fogger.

  STEPS TO TAKE:                           I
 1.  instruct infected students to use the pronoun "we” instead of  "I".
 2.  Suggest more appropriate synonyms wnan a Student refers to a teacher
as being "crabby".
 3.  Consult Ortho Garden Book for shampoos available.
 4.  Do not allow students to become emotionally attached to small pets
that
      they might put on other kids scalps and shoulders.
 5.  Under no circumstances allow a child to come closer than 20 feet to
electronic bug zapper to         prevent child from being sucked in and
electrocuted.
 6.  Arrange for Orkin man to be in the Learning Center every Tuesday to
spray heads.
 7.  Discourage use of' curling irons, as hard boiled lice have an
offensive odor.
 8.  All personnel should be aware that NITS and PARASITES is not a new 
Rock Group.

  ADDITIONAL DANGER SIGNALS:

  All children who come to school with "Roach Motel braided into their  
hair are to to be suspected of potential infestation.


Jude Kurokawa, CNM
Wolf Point, MT
Mailto: [log in to unmask]
A Coyote midwife sits by the hole and waits....

Only Cowards cook on low.