Dear Diane, the whole key to what you said was in the last sentence " I
like helping all of them all be successful with THEIR goals." Not OUR
goals, even tho we know breast, unsupplemented and FT, is best.  We don't
live their life.  Remember the old Indian saying about walking a mile in
another man's mocassins?
I've watched one daughter and one d-i-l go back to work, and one daughter
and one d-i-l stay home.  And they are all managing.  Their kids are great
(of course they are MY grandchildren), but the point is it works and the
way they live today is vastly different from the way we lived when they
were little.  My mom worked outside of the home, I got to stay home with my
kids.  I guess we need to remember "all mothers work."---some more formally
than others!
Over the years I've watched parents grow and expand their parenting skills
with successive babies.  Small successes, with non-judgmental (and
ACCURATE) info & support from family, friends, HCPs, lead to greater
successes later on.  Meeting a mother where she is, answering her questions
and needs now, opens a pathway of communication that frequently leads to
continued BFing....and mom's increased satisfaction with what she has
accomplished.  And sometimes gadgets and gizmos are appropriate. Remember
there are no absolutes.  Loosen up, be flexible.  Sincerely, Pat in SNJ