Norma -- what a tense situation, and right you are, not a time to do much teaching.

I'm afraid these days there is no fool proof solution, but one of the things we do when a mom and husband are in an ugly situation, (or if there is a bad situation with anyone else) is have the family come in under a fictitious name.  As we are not allowed to give any telephone information on patients, other then to say that someone is there or not, we can then say "nobody by that name is listed here."  Subsidiary to this is the question, I can't raise so-and-so at home, is she in the hospital.  Again the above answer suits, and/or we suggest they call a family member.

Also, we have 24-hour rooming in, so nobody can be pretending to take the baby "back to the nursery."  Babies do not leave moms unless accompanied by a nurse or doctor to go for tests, or by the tech involved in blood tests or
circumcisions.  

Another thing that is a security measure in our hospital, is that babies aren't
to be carried in the hallways.  Anyone taking the baby into the hallway in the
postpartum unit, must push the baby in the crib.  Therefore, anyone carrying the baby in their arms is immediately suspect.  At discharge, mom and baby go together in a wheel chair, while dad is getting the car.

Finally, we do have a locked unit, and everyone must pass the secretary
both going and coming.  That plus the layout and sufficient nursing staff, hopefully, prevents any "unknown" or "unwarranted" character from disappearing with the baby.  And in 35 years, I don't think one has disappeared.

You do not mention how large the unit is, either number of deliveries or room-wise -- but I thought all hospitals had to have fairly good security systems in place to pass all state and federal codes for the licenses.

I would also add, I have seen these situations, both in the hospital and among my friends, and they can be horrible, ugly, tense, etc.  But as we have to remind ourselves -- there are two sides to every story, everyone has a right to change his/her mind, and finally, father's have rights too.  As a hospital,
mother and baby are our patient, but father still has rights granted by the state, that can be accommodated.  In one case that I know of personally,
the father was barred from the delivery room and any contact with the mother,
but the baby came to the NICU for an hour out of every four, where the father
could be at his side and play with him, handle him and learn to change him --
or just sit by him when he was asleep.

Hope any of this is some help.  Chanita, in San Francisco