Dear Ruth,

Since you are new to lactnet, let me tell you that I am an adoptive
mother of six children, whom I have nursed for a total of 10 years.  I
have also done alot of writing and worked with many other adoptive
mothers.

Would you mind sharing more details of your experience?  In my
experience, it is very rare for an adoptive mother to bring in a full
milk supply.  In fact, I only know of one and she had a frequently
nursing bio toddler, whom she abruptly weaned when the new baby came.

However, one thing I have realized is that the definition of what a full
milk supply is varies.  To me, it means that there is enough breastmilk
for the baby to continue growing well without any other form of
nutrition.  I have found, however, that to many people, it means being
able to give up supplementation at the breast at any age, even when the
baby is older and taking other foods.  By the second definition, I could
even claim a full milk supply with my last child, although I was never
able to produce more than about twelve ounces a day with her.

There are a few problems with that definition.  First of all, it tends
to be misleading.  Second, it is based at least as much on the baby's
willingness to dispense with familiarity by giving up the supplementer
as it is with the amount of milk produced.  In my experience, the child
I actually produced the most milk for was never willing to nurse without
the Lact-Aid.  Many mothers who have nursed more than one adopted baby
have also found that, even with similar amounts of breastmilk produced,
the age at which a child will be willing to forego the supplementer, or
whether they ever will, varies greatly.

The definition of a full milk supply is very important to adoptive
mothers.  Many adoptive mothers have been through H*LL trying to give
birth to a baby.  This is all physically difficult, but emotionally even
worse.  For them (and I am one of them) the idea of producing a full
milk supply for an adopted baby is very attractive.  However, if they
get the idea that this is likely to happen, and it doesn't, it can
really set them up for feeling like they have again been failures at
something very important.  I have seen adoptive mothers throw in the
towel after a short period of time, when, had they had both realistic
expectations about milk supply AND an understanding of the benefits of
even a small amount of milk and/or the other benefits of nursing besides
milk, they might have had a wonderful, long-term nursing experience.  I
have also know a few who did everything right but never produced any
milk, but felt that nursing their adopted babies was the best experience
they'd ever had.

Another problem is that adoptive mothers are sometimes inclined to
exaggerate.  It is not that they want to lie.  It is that, especially if
they are speaking to someone who appears to expect that they should be
producing alot of milk, admitting to less can be humiliating.

I would like to know more about the mother who pumped 16 ounces a day.
Had she previously given birth and nursed?  The few women I know who
have been able to pump very much in advance had all given birth and
nursed.  However, most in that situation never pumped more than drops.

You are fortunate in Canada to have motilium.  In the USA, we are stuck
with reglan, which does help milk production, but usually at the cost of
the mother experiencing either depression or anxiety.

Anyway, I have been rather long winded here.  I hope you don't mind my
rambling!  Like I said, I would like to hear more details of your
experience.  I am now working on a book and am always looking for more
information.

Aloha,
Darillyn Starr