4-9-97

The Oprah Winfrey Show
Harpo Productions
P.O. Box 909715
Chicago, IL  60690

Dear Ms. Winfrey and others:

I was anxious to see your 4/2/97 show  "Should your child still be doing
that?" and was happy to see the subject matter handled calmly and the guests
treated with respect.  So many times I have seen discussions of this sort
deteriorate into hysteria.

I was very glad to hear the physicians emphasize that each parent should get
to know their child as an individual and find out what works best for the
child and the family.  The information about when children complete toilet
learning and begin to sleep through the night was more realistic than I've
seen in other media.

It was delightful to hear the "experts" endorse co-sleeping and let families
know that this practice is fairly common.   For families wanting to encourage
independent sleep, several options for gently "weaning" children from the
family bed could have been shared.  Laying with the child in his bed first or
putting a cot or sleeping bag on the floor in the parent's room are often
effective transitional steps.

The doctors were right on the money, as well, when they stated that
breastfeeding past the "usual" age for our culture is normal, although
uncommon.  Anthropologists have found that natural weaning actually occurs
somewhere between ages 2.5 and 7.  Unfortunately in North America,
breastfeeding and natural weaning are seen by many as aberrant practices,
when in reality artificial (formula/bottle) feeding is the aberration.

I wanted to point out that the 3 year old who nursed 12 times per day was a
normal but not a typical 3 year old nursling.  It would have been helpful to
explain that nursing patterns vary widely, and that many 3 year olds nurse
only once a day or even once a week.

Taking care of a "high need" child can be very demanding, especially with
other children in the household.  Since this mother seemed so exasperated,  I
understood the recommendation to wean abruptly, but I do not agree with it.
 The clingy behavior and demands for attention may actually increase if this
is tried.  Most mothers gradually decrease the frequency and length of
nursings instead.  More gentle ways of weaning - while still meeting the
child's need - could have been suggested.  I would recommend firmly, but
lovingly, setting some limits for the child - such as no nursing in the car
and staying in the carseat (give the child a sippy cup or snack instead).
 This mother could try a carrier or backpack to keep the child close, as well
as trying to set aside a special time each day to give the child her
undivided attention.

Sincerely,
Laurie Wheeler, RNC, MN, IBCLC
Louisiana Breastfeeding MediaWatch Coordinator
Violet LA