Dear fellow Lactnetters:

I have been working on these two messages for a while, in response to all
the posts that have appeared regarding the Ezzo philosophy.  I admire how
many of you have shared your experiences working with these issues that have
been very difficult. This has been a good forum for sharing our frustrations.

I want us to move forward in order to develop a more positive outlook about
working with these situations that are difficult for us.
--------------------------------------------
Part One:

"The measure of our professionalism is how we deal with people we do not
like. If we do not extend to them due process and courtesy, we are a
hindrance to the growth of justice in this world. And we help them feel
better about themselves, more convinced of their own righteousness and (of)
our extremism."
( excerpted from a post by Maureen Minchin)

ear Maureen:
        WOW! Please give us permission to use this quote both in and out of
the context in which you used it.  It's wonderful, and we should apply it to
the other issues on this forum which have evoked everything from calm
discussion,to flames, and to ranting; such as Bottlefeeding without Guilt
and the Ezzo's philosophy.


.......On Tue, 4 Feb 1997 Lisa Marasco posted an excerpt whose subject was
Babywise: Benefits of Order which described the difference in behavior
between Chelsea (who was fed the Babywise way) and Marisa (who was demand fed)>


I read the complete post and tried to pretend I was a first time pregnant
woman who has little experience with babies and who lives in our North
American Culture that values independence, individualism, quick solutions to
problems, and woman's ability to have and  do it all.

My response was, "Who wouldn't find the description of Chelsea as fitting
the ideal of a model infant? This is an appealing and endearing ideal of a
baby.

Isn't this seductive writing? How easy for the pregnant mother to be seduced
by the stories of success.

I was reminded of a mother I met (when I first began this work twenty years
ago) whose baby was only nursing every four hours. Despite my cautions that
the baby should nurse more frequently, the mother insisted that the baby was
gaining weight appropriately and she was happy with the routine.  She
breastfed for over a year, and her second baby exhibited the same behavior
of nursing every 4 hours.  Was she following a philosophy such as we read in
Babywise?  I don't know as I was too ignorant to ask.

This mother tought me that SOME (if only a few) babies will do fine when
they don't fall into behaviors we consider normal. Likewise, SOME families
are successful with breastfeeding using the Ezzos philosophy. Those who are
successful gloriously attribute their success to these techniques and feel
that ALL babies will respond the same way.

How difficult it is for the mothers of the babies who do not fit the ideal
of Chelsea! How difficult it must be do give up the dream! Some mothers will
respond to their babies and meet the babies' needs at the breast by breaking
the rules. Others may not be able to break those rules.

WE may be uncomfortable with the strategies proposed in this book, but we
need to remember that the advice we give is contrary to the dream the mother
has carried with her for some time. Changing her bahavior means finding a
way to create a new dream for her. Can we do that in a crisis situation?
Should we try?

----------------
-----------------


PART TWO;

" She stated she will do anything BUT feed more often than every 3 hours. "


Biological breastfeeding practices and cultural breastfeeding practices are
not the same. As LC's we  work with women from many cultures who exhibit a
wide variety of cultural breastfeeding practices.  We learn to respect
cultural beliefs and find a way to problem solve while honoring cultural
beliefs. "To deal with the cultural belief that colostrum is 'bad', suggest
to mothers that the first few drops of 'impure'milk may be expressed and
discarded before the mother breastfeeds and that "the sooner you breastfeed,
the better the milk." (van Esterik, 1988; Skeel & Good, 1988--from Riordan
and Auerbach)

The families who practice the Ezzo philosophy are another culture. It might
help us all to remember this.
We need help them find ways to make breastfeeding work  within their belief
system, since we can't change their minds. Arguing and trying to convince
this mother does no good. She will tune us out.

The mother may be adamant about not feeding the baby more often, yet she may
be open to ways to increase the amount that the baby gets during the feed.
We can provide her with information on alternate breast massage, super burp
and switch etc. Perhaps she would be be willing to express  milk in between
feedings to augment the feedings. It's a lot of extra work for her, but it
may work so that she does not have to compromise her beliefs.

Let's give her lot of options and have her verbalize the ways to increase
intake that she is willing to try. She will be more likely to try them if
she verbally commits to them.

Creative minds out there, please help us with more suggestions. If we don't
argue with them all the time, they may listen more.

Karen Koss
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