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Wed, 7 May 1997 11:19:24 -0700 |
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<I am troubled by a comment I so often hear by women who have attempted to breastfeed
and for whatever reasons it didn't work out. The comment is "Oh, my baby is so much
happier now, he/she is now so contented, he/she is a changed baby". >
Star, sometimes I think this is part of how mother's rationalize their decisions. If
they have stopped breastfeeding, they need to feel that this is the right decision, so
they tell themselves things are better now. We do this with other decisions too. I can't
explain it very well, but it is part of our self-talk and being comfortable about what
we have done.
I vividly remember a mother who had a child at kindergarten with my daughter (1988).
She had a new baby and was discussing her problems with sore nipples with other mothers
outside the kinder. Everyone was giving advice (breastfeeding was the norm) so although
not asked for my advice, I informed her that since she'd said that the baby had oral
thrush perhaps she should find out if that was the cause of her nipple pain (I think
this was my first unofficial diagnosis of nipple thrush!). Anyway next time I saw her
she said that she'd stopped feeding (hadn't sought help from anyone). The following week
or so, she said she had been in hospital with a breast abscess (following sudden
weaning). Very sad I thought.
You could have knocked me down with a feather later in the year, when she was bottle
feeding at the Christmas breakup party and telling people she had to wean b/c of a
breast abscess! In her mind she had changed around the sequence of events and she now
believed this is what happened. Of course, her story evoked sympathy from the other
mothers, and I learnt another lesson about *truth*.
Sorry this was long. But I think we learn from sharing stories.
Lisa Amir
GP / IBCLC in Melbourne, Australia
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