I've often thought that one thing society and baby care books forget to say is
that babies are people.  People have likes and dislikes.  People like to sit in
some positions and not in others (my daughter and I both like to sit with the
left leg tucked under and the right knee up by the chin.)  People like to
wiggle while they eat.  And babies are people,  and have as many idiosyncracies
as the rest of the world.

When I tell this to mothers, I can almost see the lights turning on in their
brains, and can hear the relief in their voices as they realize that the
"problems" they were having with their babies aren't really problems at all.
The babies are just being people.

I, too, carried my daughter around, facing out, talking about the pictures on
the wall and the clouds in the sky and the food on the stove.  And I have the
"uncanny" ability to calm a fussy (i.e. bored) baby because I hold them facing
out and talk to them - involve them in their world.   Once the mothers start
doing this, they can calm their own babies.

Sometimes it's not technical breastfeeding problems we're dealing with.
Helping the mother (and father) see the other needs their child has can resolve
whatever the problem was - initially blamed on breastfeeding, of course.

And now to care for my own child, who is letting me know that I've been gone
too much today!

Beth Hilleke              [log in to unmask]