I tried to email this to Pam but it came back.  I hope none of you find it too personal however I thought it might be useful to her and others.


> Pam
> Although I sense that guilt is not the overwhelming driving force in your life, I did sense some in your post (and in posts from many others) and wanted to share this with you.
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>  There are few less useful things in life than guilt.  A therapist once had me work for weeks on what guilt accomplished in my life and it was a very useful exercise.  (I was a psychology major in college)  What I came up with is that it's hard to let go of perfection (am I the perfect mother, daughter, teacher or LC?) and when I realized I wasn't perfect, well, I could at least feel guilty about it and punish myself.  What she taught me was that when I feel guilty I need to find a way to put it into action.  What can I do to help the situation?  If there is anything possible to do, I do that-and then just let go.  Guilt is debilitating.  It saps your strength for other things.
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>  Also-it would be so wonderful if breastmilk and/or breastfeeding would solve every physical problem in the world, but alas, it doesn't.  I once had a client who had 3 kids-only the last one was breastfed.  At age 3 or 4 they discovered he had Juvenile Diabetes (none of the others did).  All she could think about was how grateful she was that she nursed him, since she would have felt so responsible had she not. But he would surely have been diabetic either way.
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>  A very wonderful and supportive pediatrician once told me that breastfed kids get all the same things as non breastfed kids.  Sometimes the breastfed kids even get it worse.  It's just the lessons we are meant to get in this life.
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>  I am sure (really I am-b/c you have 3 kids and all these pets and are a LC on Lactnet) that you  are an incredible mom and do everything you humanly can for your kids.  I am sure you get  Jonathon the best possible care.  Guilt is one of those emotions that don't help get anything done.  I have this imaginary box that I put stuff in-so just shove that old guilt into your guilt box (or you can use mine if you'd like) and use your energy for something else.
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>  (My 12 year old son was just diagnosed with a learning disability and possible ADD.  I had chicken pox when I was pg with him.  So I guess I'll be spending LOTS of $$ getting him the best help I can in the future and spend lots of time sitting on my guilt box to keep it closed!)
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>  Ever want to talk-I'd love to hear from you.
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>  Welcome to Lactnet
>  Barbara Leshin-Zucker, IBCLC
>  Highland Mills, NY
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