To Pat who is anguished over clients stopping breastfeeding--
(Sorry, but this is a long post.) You've had some get responses to
this posting that I'm sure we've all appreciated and learned from. Joyce
made some wonderfully perceptive comments about leaving the power with the
mother. I second her recommendation of LLLI's LC Series booklet on role
acquisition. I've referred to this and reread it many times--extremely
helpful when working with a wide variety of mothers.
When I was an LLL Leader before becoming an LC, I felt that every
woman would breastfeed if only ... fill in the blank--received good
information and support from her doctor; didn't get messed up while in
hospital; saw an LC in the hospital; attended LLL meetings while pregnant.)
The only one I still believe relevant, and not all the time, is the last
one, because attending LLL meetings allows a mum to get immersed in the
"breastfeeding culture," and will often be able to overcome things she never
could have alone, even with expert LC help. The power of mother-to-mother
support and information is unbelievable. (And as a Leader yourself, you've
seen this power over and over.)
However, that said, there are some women who even if they have
attended meetings still are not able to follow through and overcome their
difficulties, but in 15 years of leading LLL meetings, I can only think of a
few who attended a number of meetings while pregnant and didn't bf. Now this
may be because LLL is a rarified atmosphere consisting primarily of very
committed women (often well-educated, often middle-class, although certainly
not always). I think this is a factor, but I also believe the biggest factor
is the influence of the other women. Women who enjoy those meetings want to
come back and will often surmount huge difficulties in order to hang in
there for the next meeting. I can't achieve this as an individual LC, which
is why I encourage all my prenatal clients to attend LLL. Lots don't and I
don't have control over that, but it's not because they weren't made aware
of it.
Probably not a maturity issue <g>, but may be an issue of learning to let go.
Doubt my competence? Yes, lots.
Wonder if I'm trying to do the impossible? Some days, definitely.
One baby at a time? That's become my mantra!
Outcome of your work matter too much? It's important that it matter, but not
not to the degree that you choose to give it up, or become immobilized when
things don't work out the way you'd like. Remember the Stages of Change, and
understand that even if you've moved your client only one stage closer to
"Action," you've done a great thing. Some women aren't truly ready to
breastfeed until their second, third... baby. I think lots of women who
start breastfeeding are really only in the "Contemplation" or "Preparation"
stages, so when difficulties arise, they just aren't ready to do what it
takes to overcome them. I've been doing a lot of thinking about the women
who don't return to LLL meetings, and believe that many of them are in the
"Precontemplation" or "Contemplation" stages and regular LLLers are just too
gung ho for them, at that stage. These women need to receive information in
an entirely different way, but I haven't figured that out just yet (ideas,
anyone?). If you're not familiar with the Stages of Change research (also
known as the "Transtheoretical Model of Behaviour Change") you may want to
look into it--very uplifting and reassuring. It's even helped tremendously
to understand why our very intelligent 17 year old son is still
smoking--he's got the education and he's got the support of his family, but
not of his friends, who all smoke, and not the motivation, yet. We still
hope for that! He's in the Precontemplation stage and has quite a long way
to go before Action, but we know it can happen and are continuing to offer
information but try not to nag, standing by, ready to assist when he's
ready. I see my LC work the same way.
Hang in there, Pat. We're ALL struggling at times!
Leslie Ayre-Jaschke, BEd, IBCLC
Peace River, Alberta, Canada
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