>Subject: Grieving over not breastfeeding
>
>Barbara Wilson-Clay said
>"..... Yet the culture brushes off the sadness of the woman who is
>disappointed when breastfeeding fails with an, Oh Well.  I say, let 'em
>talk, let 'em cry.  Validate their feelings of loss.  It IS a loss.   Part
>of why they are often so confused is no one else acts like it makes any
>sense for them to be sad."
>
>Yes, it IS a loss, a big one.  And most of time all we have to do or should
>do is listen!
>
>Pam Wiggins, IBCLC
>

YES!!! I know this for sure, now!!! With my experience the last two wks
trying to get Gaelin (the cleft baby who's recovering from surgery and was
refusing the breast, as most of you know...) to take to nursing again... and
not succeedingday after day...

Those few people (on and off the list) who told me that it wasn't
appropriate for me to GRIEVE to just "let it go, and move on..." really hurt
me. While, both being an experienced breastfeeding mom (we have five kids)
and LLL Leader/bf counselor... I had most of the "what to do" steps and such
available to me... but it was the support, I guess, that I personally
NEEDED. The validation. Yes, I really hoped there was a tip out there that I
might not have thought of or tried, but in retrospect... it was the support
I aquired that really pushed me to continue trying to bring Gaelin back to
the breast. And, I succeeded.

Just a personal experience. Sometimes I think it takes a professional going
through a mess/difficulty to bring him or her down to a more humble, feeling
level. I know I will deal with the moms who come to me for help a bit more
compassionately now, myself. I will have this experience... this FEELING
experience to draw upon... and it will surely make me a better counselor.

Carrie