Bee listers,
Well, I warned you all yesterday. This was a "lesson" on internet usage
from Patrick Crispin, part of his Roadmap 96 "class." This lesson is forwarded
with his permission. I learned a lot from his series.
Like I said, if you are perfect already, feel free to blow this away...
QUOTE:
MAP07: NETIQUETTE
"When thou enter a city abide by its customs."
-- The Talmud
We have covered a lot of ground this week. We learned how the three levels
of connectivity differ, how to read an e-mail address, that letters are
sent to the list address and commands to the LISTSERV address, and we even
looked at the world of other mailing list programs.
The Internet, however, is made up of more than computers and commands. All
of the computers and commands would be useless if it were not for the
people who use them. The commands are neat but it is the PEOPLE who make
the Internet what it is. The problem is that every grouping of people
develops its own culture and common rules that govern the behavior of the
people.
Today's lesson is going to give you an insider's look at how to avoid some
of the mistakes that EVERYONE makes when they start out on the Internet.
If you can take what is said in this lesson to heart, you are going to find
that your travels on the Information Superhighway will be a whole lot
smoother.
The following "Netiquette" guide (netiquette is the common way to describe
the etiquette of the Internet) was written by my father, the Rev. Bob "Bob"
Crispen. I think you will soon see where my sense of humor comes from. :)
In fact, it was because of my dad that I first got onto the Internet. I
got an e-mail account so that I could e-mail him and ask him for money.
-----
NETIQUETTE
by the Rev. Bob "Bob" Crispen
(Patrick Crispen's daddy)
One of these days you're going to get tired of Web surfing or listening in
on LISTSERVs, IRCs, Usenet newsgroups or whatever, and you're going to
want
to say something yourself. At that moment your life will change. Let's
see if we can't make that a change for the better.
EVANGELISM:
Everyone is tempted from time to time to evangelize, to stride boldly into
the enemy's camp and throw down the gauntlet. We will never see the end of
people who pop up on "comp.sys.intel" praising Macs and Amigas; who send
mail to the SKEPTIC list that flying saucers really, truly do exist; who
enlighten the Buddhist newsgroups that they're all bound for hell, and on
and on.
In the entire history of the Net, no one has managed to do this without
looking like a complete idiot. If you believe you are the one person who
will succeed where millions have failed, then you're ready to learn about
...
FLAMES:
There is nothing you can say that won't offend somebody:
>It's a bright, sunny day today.
You filthy *@!?$, what have you got against Seattle?
Flames (violent verbal expressions of disapproval), misunderstandings,
overreactions, and hurt feelings are par for the course. Four lessons from
experience:
(1) HEDGE YOUR BETS. Rather than saying, "Metal rules! Death to all
that appose [sic]!!" try saying "In my humble opinion (often
abbreviated IMHO) metal bands perfectly express my feelings,
choices, and lifestyle. Your mileage may vary" (another net
cliche', less frequently abbreviated YMMV). By the way, BTW is
another frequent net abbreviation, for what it's worth (FWIW).
Watch the abbreviations until you're sure of them, or you may have
your readers ROTFL (rolling on the floor, laughing).
(2) APOLOGIZE. When misunderstanding is the culprit, and especially
if you respect the person who misunderstood, take the blame on
yourself for being unclear, apologize, say what you meant more
clearly (if appropriate) and put it behind you. As in real life
(remember that?) people who are quick to anger are often equally
quick to forgive.
(3) AVOID FLAME BAIT (conduct which gravely offends the norms, mores
and folkways of a particular group). "Now wait a minute!" you
say. "Do you mean that something that's accepted behavior on one
list or newsgroup will draw dozens of stinging, ridiculing
comments in another?" I sure do. Think about it. Do you expect
the people who post on "comp.lang.ada" (about the Ada programming
language) to be anything like the people who post to
"rec.pets.cats?"
What can you do? Lurk a while before you post. Read what's said
like an anthropologist, trying to discover what the big "don't"s
are. The beginning of a school term is a wonderful time to do
this, as you will observe the clueless newbies, who weren't smart
enough to read this paragraph, being torn to shreds. There are
some things you should NEVER do, and we'll list them in a minute,
but let's get to the last bit of advice.
(4) Bow down to the group's gods. In every Usenet newsgroup and
LISTSERV mailing list there are old, gray heads who have earned
the respect of everyone in the group. For example, amongst the
subscribers to the list discussing the late American bandleader
Stan Kenton are the producer of a Kenton box set and the authors
of definitive Kenton biographies and discographies. You are
entirely ignorant compared to those people. Never pretend you're
anything else. They would dearly love to help you -- to answer a
question, help you find a rare record -- but you'll always come
out second best in a head-butting contest with them.
Still other group members have earned their status through long
service. Friendships have developed over many years, and marriage
is not unknown. By commenting abusively to or about one of these
gods, you'll earn not only her enmity, but the enmity of all of
her friends -- which may be everyone in the group but you!
DO'S AND DON'TS (or how to avoid most flames):
(1) DON'T include the entire contents of a previous posting in your
reply.
(1) DO cut mercilessly. Leave just enough to indicate what you're
responding to. NEVER include mail headers except maybe the
"From:" line. If you can't figure out how to delete lines in your
mailer software, paraphrase or type the quoted material in.
(2) DON'T reply to a point in a posting without quoting or
paraphrasing what you're responding to and who said it. Reason: a
dozen postings may occur between the original message and your
reply. At some sites your reply may arrive before the original
does.
(2) DO quote (briefly) or paraphrase. If the original "Subject:" line
was "Big dogs" make sure yours says "Re: Big dogs". Some reply
functions do this automatically. By net convention, included
(quoted) lines are preceded by ">" (greater-than signs). Some
mail editors and newsreaders do this automatically. Others
require you to do it manually or to set the "indent character" to
">." Microsoft Exchange is the hardest to use if you want to
correspond on the Internet. Unless you're a Word expert, you'll
have to enter the ">" signs by hand and get rid of the mail header
and indentations. Some versions of Exchange client put the cursor
for your reply *before* the message you're replying to; how
useless! Move the cursor so that your readers will see the
message you're responding to first, then your response.
(3) DON'T send a message saying, "Why doesn't anybody say anything
about X?" or "Who wants to talk about X?"
(3) It's always a risk to start a new topic (often called a thread).
The group may have just finished a long, bitter war about that
very subject. But if you want to take the risk, SAY SOMETHING
yourself about the subject you're raising.
(4) DON'T send lines longer than 70 characters. This is a kindness
to folks with terminal-based mail editors or newsreaders. Some
mail and news gateways truncate extra characters, turning your
deathless prose into gibberish.
(4) Some mail and news editors only SEEM to insert line breaks for
you but actually don't, so that every paragraph is one immense
line. Learn what your mail and news editors do by mailing a
message to yourself (or posting it to alt.test) and reading the
message in a couple of mail and news readers. Unix mail or Mail
(they're different) and nn and Netscape Navigator's mail and news
readers will usually let you read your message in a plain, vanilla
form, the way others will see it.
(5) DON'T SEND A MESSAGE IN ALL CAPS. CAPITALIZED MESSAGES ARE
HARDER
TO READ THAN LOWER CASE OR MIXED CASE.
(5) DO use normal capitalization. Separate your paragraphs with
blank lines. Make your message inviting to your potential
readers.
(6) DON'T betray confidences. It's all too easy to quote a personal
message by mistake in a message to the entire group.
(6) DO read the "To:" and "Cc:" lines in your message before you send
it. Are you SURE you want the message to go there?
(7) DON'T make statements which can be interpreted as official
positions of your organization or offers to do business. Saying
"Boy, I'd sure like to have one of those new supercomputers" could
result in a truck at your loading dock and a bill in the mail even
larger than your student loan.
(7) DO treat every post as though you were sending a copy to your
boss, your minister, and your worst enemy. I customarily end
every message I send from work with "Speaking for myself, not my
company."
(8) DON'T rely on the ability of your readers to tell the difference
between serious statements and satire or sarcasm. It's hard to
write funny. It's even harder to write satire.
(8) DO remember that no one can hear your tone of voice. Use
emoticons (or smileys) like :-) or ;^) -- tilt your head
counterclockwise to see the smile. You can also use caps for
emphasis or use net conventions for italics and underlines as in:
You said the guitar solo on "Comfortably Numb" from Pink Floyd's
_The Wall_ was *lame*? Are you OUT OF YOUR MIND???!!!
Some mail editors (Exchange again) let you insert all kinds of
special characters and put your text in boldface, italics or
different fonts. Don't give in to the temptation to use those
features unless you're certain that everyone whom you intend to
read your message has the same editor.
(9) DON'T put a huge signature at the bottom of your messages.
(9) DO exercise some restraint. Remember that a large number of mail
and news readers out there are set up to use proportional fonts,
and your lovely ASCII art will look nothing like you intended it
to on those readers. Remember also that there's a Usenet
newsgroup(2) out there whose sole function is to make fun of
people's signatures. Try not to appear there.
(10) DON'T send a message that says nothing but "Me, too." This is
most annoying when combined with (1) or (2) above. Ditto for "I
don't know."
(10) DO recall that you aren't obligated to reply to every single
thing you read. Remember the immortal words of Martin Farquhar
Tupper (1810-1889): "Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than
speech."
A word to people living in the United States: the net is international. If
you tell a Belgian she's being un-American, SHE ISN'T OFFENDED. OF
COURSE
she's un-American; you're un-Belgian. She doesn't care about being
lectured on the First Amendment and American values. She doesn't HAVE a
First Amendment, and she thinks Belgian values are BETTER. We Americans
have made fools of ourselves by forgetting this everywhere else. Let's try
to behave a little better on the net.
Finally, many groups have had the sense to write down some of their norms
and folkways in a frequently asked questions (FAQ) list along with (what
else?) the answers to frequently asked questions. Many Usenet FAQs are
posted monthly or so on the news.answers (alt.answers, comp.answers)
newsgroups. Listowners of LISTSERVs are often quite willing to mail you
the FAQ for the list. In fact, they may have already told you where it is
in the letter you get welcoming you to the list.
With all we've said above, and with all the help newsgroup moderators and
listowners are providing to newcomers, it almost seems like you'd have to
work at it to go charging in with your mouth open and your eyes and ears
shut, thereby aggravating and alienating some otherwise perfectly nice
people. The good Lord gave us two eyes and two ears and one mouth to
remind us of that very thing. But then he went and gave us ten fingers to
type with, and here we are.
-----
Now a note from me:
HOMEWORK:
There are DOZENS of Netiquette guides on the Internet, although
IMHO none of them are as good as my dad's. :) (1)
Actually, Arlene Rinaldi has a HUGE Netiquette guide that I am
going to show you how to retrieve using file transfer protocol,
gopher, and the WWW later on in the workshop.
So your homework today is:
1. Save this lesson.
2. Reread this lesson several times.
3. Have a GREAT weekend!
NOTES:
(1) My smileys don't have noses. :)
(2) The group is alt.fan.warlord. The reason why this group makes fun
of signatures instead of talking about warlord (whatever that is)
is lost in the mists of time.
(\__/) .~ ~. ))
/O O ./ .' Patrick Douglas Crispen
{O__, \ { The University of Alabama
/ . . ) \ [log in to unmask]
|-| '-' \ } http://ua1vm.ua.edu/~crispen/
.( _( )_.'
'---.~_ _ _& Warning: squirrels.
ROADMAP96: COPYRIGHT 1996 BY PATRICK DOUGLAS CRISPEN.
To unsubscribe from ROADMAP96, send a new e-mail letter to
[log in to unmask] with the command SIGNOFF * in the body of
your e-mail letter. To subscribe to ROADMAP96, send a new e-mail
letter to [log in to unmask] with the command SUBSCRIBE
ROADMAP96 YOURFIRSTNAME YOURLASTNAME in the body of your e-mail
letter, replacing YOURFIRSTNAME and YOURLASTNAME with your first and
last names.
The views, opinions, and conclusions reached in this lesson are those
of Patrick Douglas Crispen and not necessarily those of The University
of Alabama or its officers and trustees. The content of this lesson
has not been reviewed or approved by The University of Alabama, and
the author is solely responsible for its content.
END QUOTE
Gerry Visel
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(815) 226-6620
(815) 394-5438 or -2827 (fax)
Home: [log in to unmask]
(815) 962-0546
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