Coach Smith here again.

To Pat Gima and others - yes, we all get discouraged especially when we handle a string of disasters in a row with no triumphs in sight. Especially this time of year. We're all dressed up ready to go (all our skills are there, just waiting for the right mom and baby) but nobody we can help shows up. Instead, we get what Barbara calls "train wrecks" - situations so complicated or messy that probably no one "magic wand" would have helped much. Of course we grieve, and try not to take it out on our families or colleagues.

Most coaches know this - hence the expression "Ya win some, ya lose some, the rest are rained out." For every Rose Bowl winner (Yaayy, Ohio State!) there's team with a string of losses. There's the kid who desperately wants to play or swim or hit well, and just can't - just like the babies we meet who can't suck no matter what we do. 

Imagine what the coaches feel... a lot like we feel when the success or failure of our work is in the hands of the "players," and things aren't going well. The best athlete quits the team to take piano lessons. Or does drugs and gets caught. Or breaks an ankle skateboarding. Or her dad won't let her go on team bus trips for some stupid reason. To make matters worse, most pro coaches' JOBS are at stake when they have a bad season. They can be highly skilled, well-educated, and with decades of experience - and they get fired cause a bunch of college kids cut too many practices and didn't play well that year. 

Is this fair? No. But this is the nature of working with other people. We bask in the glow of our "magic" when things go right - and often we gave the little tip or technique that made a huge difference, or we said just the right thing at the right moment to rekindle motivation. Other times we just happened to be there when things turned around. 

But ultimately, my rule # 3 applies - "It's HER baby." As professionals, we will always be the position of coach, not player. The best we can do some days is use OUR skills and knowledge to create the circumstances where the best can be possible, and nuture and polish the skills of those who show up.

Too bad we don't get paid like pro sports coaches, however!

Linda Smith, Dayton OH
Bright Future Lactation Resource Centre
http://www.bflrc.com/bflrc.htm