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Date: | Sat, 14 Dec 1996 23:08:52 PST |
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Hi y'all!
I'm new to the LACTNET scene-at least the writing part(I've been lurking
for several weeks, thoroughly enjoying this free flow of information).
I work with Jane Bradshaw in her private practice (talk about sitting at
the feet of the"master") trying to get enough hours to sit for the IBCLC
exam. I am a medical technologist by training and I still use that
training at our city's Free Clinic, but I much prefer the work I do with
Jane.
All this" talk "of choosing to bf has brought up many different
feelings for me. I made a definite decision to bf in the middle of my
first pregnancy after being confronted by a fellow PCV(Peace Corps
Volunteer) with the statement "You are going to bf aren't you?!?" I then
started reading a ton of books(there wasn't much else to do in Yemen
in1978 in our free time) provided by our very progressive director's
wife. By the time I got back to the States at 7 mo. preg.,I was
prepared for anything! We had no insurance, my husband was a graduate
TA and I decided that 12 hr in the hospital was long enough. I was
armed with Karen Pryor and little else. Trina thrived and I cried--sore
nipples and colic was a bit much, but the thought of formula feeding did
not cross my mind (I think our finances had a lot to do with it!) After
the colic settled down, bf and mothering were great and I could not
think of one without the other.
Melissa followed 23 mo later and Rachael 3 yrs after that. 4 yrs and a
miscarriage later came Jeffrey. Bf was working just fine until I found
a lump in my breast that was diagnosed as cancer (bf moms are not s'posed
to get breast cancer, right?) Up to this point, I secretly knew I was a
better mother than all those bottle-feeding mothers because I was
feeding my baby the "best'' in the best possible way. At 4 mo I had to
wean my baby from the only way I knew how to feed and "mother" because
my body was defective. I had a mastectomy and 6 mo of chemo and 8 years
later I am here to write about it. I cried buckets of tears when I had
to feed Jeff with a bottle, and I think he understood my anxiety because
in the 8 months that he was on the bottle he never once held it himself.
He was always held close to feed and rocked to sleep for months. He is a
most loving and sensitive child .
Sooooo to conclude this long saga-- I have known the joys of motherhood
from the breastfeeding standpoint first , then from the standpoint of
"Will I see my children graduate from high school?" Breastfeeding and
breast cancer have both given me a deeper appreciation of relationships.
Thank you for listening to my story. I have thoroughly enjoyed listening
to all of yours.
Carol Reitz , MT and IBCLCwannabe
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