Gee, we have to fight the "you will make a mom feel guilty fi you tell her
how bad ABM is", now we have to fight the "you'll make a mom feel guilty if
you tell her she should sleep with her kids and she doesn't want to" thing.
Come on, we all know that co-sleeping is the ideal, and that it is preferred
for many reasons. But, if we haven't slept with our kids, for what ever
reason, why should we feel guilty? We all have choices to make about what we
do with and in our lives, and what we do with our kids.
We don't always make the best decisions, but that is life. I refuse to feel
guilty about not sleeping with my toddler. Sorry folks, but he tosses and
turns too much, and my kids don't need to have a cranky mom to deal with.
However, Ben does sleep in our room, and has done so since he was born.
Why? Partly because we only had a 2 bedroom house (and I refuse to put a
newborn in with a 9 yr old) and partly because "I" don;t like the idea of
having my child in a seperate room (no matter how close it is to mine). But
that is me. My family and in-laws think we are nuts for our arrangement, but
that is their opinion. As a matter of fact, we are now doing the family bed
thing with our toddler, because, since our move to a new house, he had had
real problems with waking at night. Being sleep deprived is bad enough for
me (I am NOT a nice person!), but being sleep deprived and pregnant is even
worse, it is a health issue. SO we got a twin bed put it up next to ours
(like I said, Ben tosses and turns, and getting kicked in the tummy, breast
and face are not fun while trying to sleep) and it is working out great.
My oldest boy slept with me for 5 years, but he was a cuddler, and I was
pretty much a single mom and did what I felt like doing, what I felt was
right for us. That is the key: You must do what is right for you and yours,
regardless of what others think or say. If co-sleeping is not for you, then
don't do it! If you can't get any sleep with the baby in a bassinette next
to you because you sleep too lightly and hear every breath, then don't do it.
Sleep is a neccessary part of life, and new moms don;t get enough as it is
(much less those of us with waking toddlers!). I do reccommend that moms try
co-sleeping, give it a chance, if it worksgrea, if it doesn't, try something
else. We do not live in a society that values the things that we know are
best for baby. We also do not live in a culture where co-sleeping is not
only the norm, but is the norm for reasons such as, protecting the young,
warmth, and lack of bedrooms.
Please remember, no one can make "YOU" feel guilty about anything. If what
you did worked for you, and your kids are happy and healthy, and your family
is happy, then that is what counts. Different strokes for different folks,
right?
Jay
Again, my .02+!
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