To Janet:

How frustrating to try so hard only to have all your efforts rebuffed!  I know JUST how you feel (really I do!).  I recently had a very similar experience that might help.  I went to see a mom with a long involved story that I won't go into here.  Every single suggestion I made was met with resistance.  Finally in frustration I said something like-"I'm sure you didn't call me here because everything was fine.  Could we come up with some solutions from the ideas I mentioned, or do you want to continue to get by as you have?"  We didn't really come up with much, but I left her with lots of written ideas.  About 2 weeks later, she called back, still in the same situation (actually the symptoms were worse) and she was much more receptive to all the ideas I had made before!  She even had her doctor call me, which might turn out to be a great referral source.  So even when clients don't seem like they want to hear what you are saying, they might hear more than you think.  I also o!
 nce had a client stop nursing after 2 home visits only to go on to very successfully nurse her next child.  So, sometimes it takes a while for the ideas to sink in.

I also have really come to understand that our role is to  SUPPORT THE MOTHER NO MATTER WHAT HER DECISIONS ARE.  WE MAY NOT AGREE WITH HER, BUT IT IS HER RIGHT TO DECIDE WHAT TO DO.  OUR ONLY JOB IS TO PROVIDE HER WITH APPROPRIATE INFORMATION AND SUPPORT.  I don't mean to shout, just to emphasize.  I know that I sometimes lose sight of this and need my friends or husband (or sometimes children) to remind me.

Trust that you did the absolute best you could and the mom made her own choices.

Barbara Leshin-Zucker, IBCLC
Highland Mills, NY