Lisa writes:

>> I was really taken aback by the group that expressed concern/outrage that
we
were teaching parents natural childbirth. According to them, the parents are
coming in determined to have natural childbirth but "unprepared for the
reality of the pain" to come. .....I'm all for informed consent, but when
we have these quote unquote determined parents NEVER succeeding, I don't know
what to think. Where are we falling down?<<

My personal experience, with one medicated and one unmedicated birth is that
medication is NOT a guarantee of no pain!  My medicated birth was intensely,
horribly painful.  My memory of my unmedicated birth was that it was pain
free.  I got a copy of my chart--shortly after I was given demerol it says
"Patient resting comfortably".  HAH!  That was *her* perception of the
situation.  I was in horrible pain, but was too drugged to express how bad I
felt.  I can remember that during each contraction, I would be in awful pain,
and would be thinking "I have to tell someone how bad this is", but as soon
as the contraction ended, I would fall back into a drugged state.  I would
bet that at least 2 hours passed with me in this condition, before I was
finally able to beg for an epidural.  And guess what? The epidural did not
take the pain away either.  It is a miracle I did not end up with a
c-section.   The reality is that many women who have had medicated births
have *appeared to the staff to not be in pain* when in fact, they were in
pain.  If these nurses talked to women a few months after the women gave
birth, they might drastically change their ideas about the value of drugs
during labor.

For me, relaxation was the key to a pain free labor.  I did not want anyone
talking to me or touching me, I needed all of my energy to concentrate on
relaxing.  I think that is where many women get "let down" in their
childbirth education--they really do not realize, or take seriously, the
amount of concentration required to relax enough to keep the pain away.   I
was determined that I was going to have a good labor experience, like I have
never been determined about anything before in my life.  I was so relaxed, my
midwife could not even tell when I was having contractions, even when I was
in transition.  It took every bit of energy I had to concentrate that hard,
but it worked.

I did not mean to go on for so long, but I am probalby more passionate about
this subject than about breastfeeding.  If anyone wants to discuss this more,
I would be happy to elaborate even further about my feelings and what I think
can help  via private e-mail.

Susan Smylie