>...As a consequence there are
>now women in this community who will never forgive me for reassuring
>them that their labors-from-hell were natural, normal, and would
>ultimately be remembered as edifying.

The recent post about labors from hell has got me thinking.

Why is pain viewed as bad afterwards?  (During, yes, but afterwards?)
Uninformed consent?  Emotional cause?  Bad interaction with physicians or
others?  Lack of autonomy/choice?  Making the pain the focus of
dissatisfaction which has a deeper root?

When I was a teenager, I went on a all-day hike/run/climb in the mountains
one hot August day because my best friend wanted to beat a record.  We
discovered in the first half-hour that we had no water--but we went ahead
anyway.  Twelve hours later I actually crawled the last slope back to the
parking lot.   I didn't beat the record.  I kept complaining about the pain
the next day, when I couldn't walk, but I know now the pain wasn't what I
was angry about.

As a young mother, I went through four unmedicated deliveries.  They were
painful, but I was and continue to be satisfied  with the experience.  I do
have bad feelings about the one where I was alone, at home (intrauterine
fetal death, I chose not to deliver at the hospital and couldn't find
anyone to be with me when the time came).  That one was the least painful,
physically, but it isn't really the physical pain I wanted relief from.

It's more than just the pain that makes bad memories and a grudge
against--whom?  The physician?  It is possible to have a lot of pain, and
good memories.   This issue is much deeper than it looks on the surface.
If laboring women had as much sympathy, support, strengthening
affirmations, cheerleading, and admiration as marathon runners, pain would
be viewed in retrospect in a different light.

Arly Helm                                       [log in to unmask]