Can't say this analogy has worked wonders, but it sure makes sense to me:

A baby placed behind the wheel of a parked car with the ignition off is
not going to hurt himself driving.  He doesn't have enough skill to get
hurt.  In the same way, a baby who is unable to latch on or coordinate a suck
and swallow is not going to hurt himself at a well-softened breast.  He
lacks the skill to extract milk.  If he *can* extract milk, then he
obviously has the skill needed to do so, and breastfeeding is not a risk
to him.

If a mother pumps to fully soften her breast, I just can't think of *any*
reason a baby can't "practice" there.  If the mother finds he's getting
some milk out, great.  She can soften her breast a little less next time.
Perhaps demonstrating to the doctor with hand expression the amount of
coordinated effort required to get milk out will reassure him that only
the baby who *can* do it, *will* do it.  At the very least, her
demonstration will leave him really rattled for the rest of the day :-)

Diane Wiessinger, MS, IBCLC, LLLL  Ithaca, NY  [log in to unmask]