On Thu, 21 Dec 1995, katherine a. dettwyler wrote:

> What a concept.  Do you beat them off with a stick when they are trying to
> fling their arms around Dad and are jumping up and down shouting "Daddy's
> home, Daddy's home?"  Does this also apply to when MOM comes home?

Beat them off with a stick? <g> No, these are merely rules that children
learn to obey, with "consequences" if they disobey. Now about MOM coming
home....... if dad is there first, I believe that the same would still
apply, as the marital relationship is placed first either way.

> NOT to defend the Ezzo's in any way shape or form, but much of modern
> psychology and the "recognized accepted principles of child development" are
> based only on studies of white middle-class Americans, and have little or no
> relevance to much of the world.  In Mali (and in other similar cultures)
> where babies are breastfed on demand, sleep with parents, AND held/played
> with/handled by lots of different relatives since their first days of life,
> they do not show the same intense attachment just to mom, but rather have an
> extended circle of "primary attachments" to those in their extended family.
> They will willingly go to siblings, cousins, co-wives, grandparents, aunts,
> and uncles, and even nurse from co-wvies, grandmothers, and aunts without
> complaint, and do not show the supposedly "typical" separation anxiety stage
> in the second half year of life.  They will scream and cry at the sight of a
> white woman, however!

Katherine, leave it to you to bring up this point! Of course American
psychology is not the end of ends; I agree with you. In traditional
cultures, as I understand it, the whole family may share in the care of
the baby, and thus many people will be accepted early on. "Strangers", I
would hazard to guess, were probably few by definition. Would you agree,
however, Katherine, that our isolated nuclear families make for a
different environment with different results? The Ezzo's expect babies to
go to *anyone*, most especially the true stranger, without a complaint.
In the context of American culture and childraising, I find that our
expectations of child development can and probably should apply, though
their universal application is certainly in doubt. If I'm missing
something, feel free to chime in again!  :-)
-Lisa

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Lisa Marasco, BA, LLLL, IBCLC
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