Nancy,

When I was in nursing school, about 100 years ago, I remember these FTT
tykes.  They were SO sad.  They were all bottlefed of course, (remember, this
was 100 years ago), and in the hospital they would get fat & sassy, eating
well.  Then home again, and the FTT picture would start all over again.  It
was SO depressing.  Because of my orientation to that, I wish we would use
another term for the baby that is FTT physically.

That said, I think you are right on target about what is prescribed in
parenting programs, or by physicians who advocate scheduled feedings.  (We
have a pedi in our area who absolutely INSISTS that every baby be on q four
hour feeds from DAY 1!  Can you imagine?  Scares me to death - but that's
another story.

If, through whatever means we advocate (primarily scheduled feeds, and let
the baby cry it out), we negate the mom's maternal, God-given instincts, and
I believe both of them begin to withdraw from each other.  The mom, because
she really, down in her heart, can't stand to hear her baby cry and
desperately wants to go to him & cuddle him, but it isn't "time" (and he's
dry and warm).  She begins to withdraw out of sheer self preservation.  The
baby does the same.  And, I think you can end up with the psych. type of FTT
in the breastfed baby.

Now, we all know there are some babies who do just fine nursing every three
hours - I have plenty of moms that I interact with who tell me their babies
are just like little clocks - their internal mechanisms go off right around 2
1/2 to 3 hours.  But there are just as many babies who nurse whenever.  We
need to learn flexibility as parents, not rigidity.  It does remind me of my
old baby book when everything was scheduled, from "play pen time" to cod
liver oil time, to bath time, to feeding time.  Not to mention potty time at
3 months!!  (See, I told you I went to nursing school 100 years ago).

Can we schedule cuddle time?  Since I can't schedule talk time with my
teenager -- it has to come whenever SHE is ready (and hopefully I will be
ready too)  (last night it was late late late....certainly not on MY time
frame!), I wonder why anyone ever advocates scheduling baby time.

I hear what you are saying, Nancy, and I agree almost in whole with you.
 Maybe advocate cuddle & snuggle time on a daily basis.  In some programs,
this might be noted as "couch time" with the baby.  Hmm???

One of my LC friends tells her moms (who are dying for daddy to give a bottle
cuz it is the only way in which he can get close) that one of the "rules" for
bf is that daddy holds and snuggles with baby for the length of time it took
mommy to feed.  Interesting thought.....

Jan B.  Off the parenting soap box, and almost (but not quite) wishing for
one more baby so I could do it RIGHT this time.  (But remember that 100
years....) (Of course, I could remember Sarah & Abraham too.....)