Arly,
Something else I noticed while teaching childbirth classes years ago, in line
with your observations about moms who will pump but not put baby to breast:
many of my pregnant moms who lost their own moms during
adolescence/pre-adolescence could not bring themselves to breastfeed.  Some
hole in their definition of themselves as women?  Reminder of that loss?  I
leave it to the mental health professionals among us to speculate.
Catherine Watson Genna, IBCLC