Re toddlers and moles:
     One other idea for the mother who needs to change a touching
behavior like this.  (It could be mole-picking, could be nipple tweaking...)
Have a scarf or a tie of some sort available for the baby/child to play
with while nursing.  One of my girlfriends always bought nursing
nightgowns with ties (little bows) above the nursing "windows" her babes
to play with while nursing.
    At an LLL workshop for moms nursing toddlers, we suggested this to
another mom who was getting increasingly disturbed by nipple tweaking.
She appropriated an out-of-style silk scarf and her toddler loved it.
    These behaviors can be so unsettling/upsetting -- and they start so
innocently!  It's a shame that we don't all have "mothering mentors" when
are babies are at those crucial ages - like if you don't want your 2-1/2
year old yelling "tittie tittie" on the airplane then you hafta have a
code word around one year!
    I think, too, that you can try reasoning with an 18 month old all you
want -- but if I continue to comfort myself with food at 40+ and have
total cognitive understanding that I need to stop doing this - and yet!!
- then why do I expect my toddler to give up this lovely little habit??
        And on mothers quitting:  Thank you to all for the good and
loving advice.
        While I've been reading today's messages, a couple of fellow
students came over and one told me about her "Breastfeeding Failure" six
years ago.  When I was doing a clinical rotation on a psych unit
recently, one of the nurses said to me, "You're really good at this.  I
hope you're going to be a psych nurse."  "Actually, I'm a lactation
consultant --"  ""Oh, let me tell you about my second baby---"
        And you know - the grief is still there.  I spend time everywhere
affirming the effort and the love and the sorrow.  The more we listen and
affirm -- the more we empower -- and we will see loving and breastfeeding
rate results someday!  (Ah--the cup is obviously half full from here.)
        A hug to each of you.  You do good work.  Dawn FACCE, IBCLC (and
student nurse!) in Southern Vermont