Marie,
 I sing from a similar hymnal about the visitors post partum and I always try
to bring it up in my prenatal BF class.  I tell parents that they get an
invisible (to them) tatoo while in the hospital that says "I'm a new
parent--tell me what to do!"  Their first year of parenting will be spent
trying to figure out what advice to pay attention to and what to let slide
by.  I tell them to preface any statements about something they want to do
with "My doctor said...."  It works like this, if someone comes over with a
snot-nosed child, the parents can  say "my doctor said.. we should not allow
other people to hold the baby because there is a lot of strep going around."


I tell parents to ask others for advice on something that they don't really
care about (such as how to bathe the baby, how to tell when the baby is warm
enough, etc.)  Sometimes this is all it takes to make a grandmother feel more
valued and it might take some of the heat off the feeding issue.

I also try to explain to the parents that the real issue here is that other
people want you to do what they did so that they will feel like they did the
right thing.  Many people take it personally when their advice is ignored or
not valued and so they try to manipulate to get their way.

Happy evening to all
Martha Grodrian Brower RD LD IBCLC
Kettering, OH