Hi, ladies, I have not posted here in a long time.
I can certainly relate to that situation. A few years back an
important person in our community asked me to assist a new mom. Baby
was loosing weight, they did an extensive checkup in the hospital and
found no medical issues. So I came to visit the Mam and see what could
be done to help. She seemed very nice, no obvious problems. Happy with
the baby and her husband. Husband was ok. She even had help in the
house - her Mom came to stay with them. Lots of milk and baby was
feeding nicely. I made two more visits. All looked good, but baby was
not gaining weight. Then, I was in the neighborhood and dropped by
without letting them know I was coming. I was not trying to catch them
doing something wrong, just had a few minutes and wanted to see what
was happening. This time Grandma was out shopping. And the Mother of
the baby finally opened up! She said that Mom took the baby to her
room for the night - because nursing mothers need to sleep... Ha? I
asked her but you told me that you feed the baby at night... Well she
lied. At most baby was given a bottle of water to keep her quiet. I
decided that this was over my head, I let the person, who originally
asked for my help know what was happening and let her deal with it. I
know that a few days later Grandma packed up and went home. Ironically
young mother was not grateful to me. I think she did not want to
believe that her Mom was giving her bad advice. And now she had to get
up and feed the baby at night.

On Thu, May 21, 2020 at 7:37 PM Rozsika Steele <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> I would interview her about her feeding schedule. I was working with a mother who had the same issue with her first baby. No weight gain, low quality milk, etc. She discontinued breastfeeding early with no lactation support. I met her after she had her second baby-- no breastfeeding was initiated and baby was failure to thrive. Doctor sent her to me for help with bottle feeding and concern about posterior tongue tie because she was taking so long to eat.  After much discussion it turns out baby is sleeping 10 hours at night and mom is unwilling to wake her for night time feeds. Her expectation is that her baby should sleep through the night. Baby was getting half the calories she needed by bottle. I asked our dietitian to help with finding her a higher calorie formula. She was adamant that it was not worth interrupting their sleep to give a bottle. I felt pretty helpless in that situation because I didn't feel there was an oral restriction or any other issue with baby-- her calories were restricted because of a harmful cultural narrative that you do no need to parent your baby at night.
>
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-- 
Henya
Migdal HaEmek, Israel

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