Dear Debbie.
This is one of my soapbox issue.  I have many patient who are
dissapointed in some way in their baby's behavior.  Everyone seems to
expect a baby who sleeps, eats, never passes gas and never cries!!
Parenting classes fail to talk to parents about the reality of parenthood
and the stress it genders.  Most moms I meet who have those strange
reasons for stoppin BF are overachievers, determined to make the baby fit
in their lives around their schedules.  This is reinforced by society's
and doc's expectations (the usual line baby will get spoiled if carried
too much, dont pick them up too soon, they need to fall asleep by
themselves,........and it goes on).  Many are made to believe that babies
should behave a certain way and definitely sleep through the nite by 1
month or something's wrong.   My own pediatrician told me to move my 6
month daughter out of my room because she felt I was awaking her at
night.  I wasn't asking for advice but got it anyway.  So I ask mothers
if deep down in their heart they sometimes feel dissapointed by the type
of baby they got.  And to my surprise, many say YES, they didnt expect it
to feel that way and they are especially surprised that they sometimes
are tired of the baby and feel guilty.  They will usually share with me
at that time some unusual fears, like the mom who's baby was finally
doing great and we were complimenting on the great weight gain.  She was
deadly scare that her baby was going to be obese like her and started to
give water to keep the baby from gaining too much!!!  It takes a while
for things to surface and sometimes I feel I never really know.

Rather than bragging about the benefits of BF, I usually share whith a
mom with weird reasons to stop  my own feelings as a first time new mom
trying to breastfeed and do what I had learned in school (what the doc
orders).  I tell them  I nearly went crazy listening to my baby cry and
how worried I was to spoil her because she quieted down so nicely when I
picked her up .  My baby was my best teacher and listening to her rather
than the "modern child rearing methods" has brought much depth in my
relation with her.  Many moms try to nurse in the context of those
recommendation.  And it DOES NOT WORK!!!!!.  In order to feel the freedom
in bfding you have to give yourself permission to 1.  trust that your
body is wonderful, and will work perfectly,   2. enjoy your baby and
forget the idea that they should be independent the day they're born.
Assertiveness comes in to play because our society and work places
usually do not reinforce these behaviors and tends to label mother and
kid very negatively when you go with you insticts.

All that aside, I do sometime not understand why a mom would want to stop
when everything seems to be going so well and there seems to be no
reasons!  Makes me angry at times... what a waste!!!  But then, I have to
constantly remind myself that I am usually priviledged to a very small
piece of the whole picture (what mom tells me) and I would give anything
to walk a day in each of my patients' shoes.  I feel that if I can treat
this mom with respect and get her to think of some options that I see
from my point of view and remind her that I know that in her heart, she
will be making the best decision for her, her baby and her family, maybe
being empowerd by my trust in her sense as a mom will help her consider
decisions she didnt before.

I know this is not gi but it is a topic dear to my heart.

Thanks for putting up with the lenght

Maryelle, the mom