On 22/03/2012 17:48, Sara wrote:
> Pamela, Rachel, all:  Yes, *very* interesting!!
>
> How do these observations about protection and grieving and support jibe with my sense (at least) that even in the "natural" course of breastfeeding and weaning, a mother grieves when the breastfeeding portion of her relationship with baby ends.
I would personally describe my reaction to weaning as nostalgia rather 
than as grieving.  I suppose that technically nostalgia is a mild form 
of grieving, but, since the word 'grieving' has connotations of quite a 
severe reaction, it isn't the one I would have wanted to use.  It would 
have framed my reaction in a way that was more severe and painful than 
was actually the case.  Just as I needed to acknowledge my feelings, I 
also needed to avoid framing them as something more than they actually 
were, because that wouldn't have been any more helpful than trying to 
deny them altogether.

I think it's important to be aware of this, because so much of what I 
was reading at the time seemed to be trying to tell me that it was all 
going to be horrible and so sad for me and baby and so difficult to deal 
with... I would feel far worse after reading the stuff that was meant to 
help me deal with weaning than I would before!  It's important to 
acknowledge mothers' feelings and give them permission to feel that way, 
but it's also important to listen to how they *do* feel and not be in 
too much of a rush to assume they feel terrible.


Best wishes,

Sarah

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