Cynthia writes:
"It is exactly the paradigm of "controlling" and "making" that is inherent
in Western and Westernized cultures (rather than the paradigm of
"facilitating") that adds to the grief of a mother who faces--and/or whose baby
faces-- extraordinary challenges in the building of the breastfeeding
relationship."
~~~ Hello all,
Cynthia shares a heartfelt and important perspective. Coming from a PT
background, having worked with burn survivors ( many of whom were burned as
abuse not accidentally,) stroke and amputation survivors, etc. the "how do we
get as close to normal as possible in these new and specific circumstances"
is a focal point. One of our US problems is we still don't see a baby
breastfeeding as normal, it's something great with lots of nice benefits, but
if you can't do it, no big deal. For those moms who make the perceptual
shift that it's a normal human activity of critical import, their journey is
even harder. ( And I still think it's hard for many moms, even though they
don't consciously acknowledge the journey through loss, as well.) I agree
with Cynthia, and I think part of what we do is also hear the mother and help
her move through the path that may include both grief and surrender, even
as she works so hard over sometimes a very long time. Although it
technically had little to do with this work, I had to take a Bereavement Ministry
series over the Winter for another certification I maintain. I found it both
challenging and very helpful. Walking the line between working through and
surrendering is a razor's edge - a tricky and often frustrating and painful
place to be. Thanks to Cynthia for bringing in an experience on that edge.
Peace,
Judy
Judy LeVan Fram, PT, IBCLC, LLLL
Brooklyn, NY, USA
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