I guess I should be relieved that these parents are asking for outside
help, because it seems just screamingly inappropriate for a nine year old
to be allowed even to fantasize about being the night caregiver for the new
baby unless the parents have died and no one else has stepped up to the
plate yet.
I'd put my efforts into fortifying their relationship to their firstborn,
maybe spending time looking at her baby pictures, talking about how they
cared for her and got to know her as a newborn, and being quite explicit
about what newborns need. Perhaps, if they are really committed to
including their firstborn in the new constellation, they would consider
having her sleep in the same room as them and the baby, or at least making
a space for her to do so when she chooses?
One of the unexpected joys of a new addition to a family with older
children is seeing how much the baby enjoys the siblings. Sibs are often
the first to see a smile and they elicit a strong positive response from
the baby from very early on. This soon-to-be big sister needs to learn how
the sister role is special,  and different from that of mother or father,
and perfectly suited for HER to fill it.
Rachel Myr
Kristiansand

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