This came up for discussion on Lactnet last week - I am away from 
home so just catching up now.

The blog - here: http://www.fearlessformulafeeder.com - is worth 
reading.  Frequently, the blogger and the women who comment tell us 
what it *feels* like not to breastfeed. Often, it is painful reading 
for us, because of the myths and misunderstandings that become 
evident.

Yes, of course it shows us how badly breastfeeding is supported in 
many parts of the West - it's US based, but a lot of what she says 
applies to the UK as well, though I see her current guide to safe 
formula preparation is absolutely not what UK guidance asks for (and 
she has not acknowledged that it's the *formula*  not the water that 
has the major bugs in it...I suspect she does not know). The 
limitations of the  public health message are obvious -  ff women 
hear it as ' you are a bad mother for not breastfeeding'.

The tortured defensiveness expressed by many formula feeders is an 
expression of their pain and grief. I think it is pretty rare for 
formula feeders to be discriminated against, publicly reviled, 
accused of exhibitionism etc etc - and the criticism they feel is all 
around them may be largely in their heads.  But in their heads or 
not, it certainly feels *real*, and the emphasis on health 'benefits' 
of breastfeeding translates very personally indeed to indivdual 
mothers.

So what do we do? My own organiation tries very hard to make sure 
that formula feeders' 'bad feelings' are not added to, and we try to 
ensure mothers who formula feed (for whatever reason) understand the 
fundamental needs *all* babies have to be responded to, to have their 
feeding 'cues' acted upon, to be fed as part of a loving relationship 
and not as merely a means of fuelling growth or transmitting 
calories.....so that formula feeding can be done in all the ways that 
are integral to happy breastfeeding.

Being sensitive to the needs of ff mothers is to be sensitive to the 
needs of babies - and accepting mothers' needs rather than just being 
horrified at their lack of understanding  will, I think, ultimately 
mean more mothers and babies breastfeed and for longer :)

Heather Welford Neil
NCT bfc, tutor, UK
-- 
http://www.heatherwelford.co.uk

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